Why don't flowers bite you when you pick them? Cuz they don't have a brain.

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What did the asian kid do before he got a blood test? He studied.

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A frog walks up to Steve, and says "Hey, Steve." Steve is terrified because a frog knows his name, and is walking.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was a turkey, idiot.

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How do u turn on a lamp? Flip the switch

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"i once had a rabbit named socks.he was a funny little fellow until one day he got over excited and...well..." "did he...i mean..you know..did he...?" "what?lose a claw,throw up, sit in a pan of warm water until he calmed down?" "yeah! :)" "yes...but then he died."

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, This poem doesnt rhyme And your entire family died trying to fly to your house for Christmas. They crashed into a orpanage for death children. There were no survivors.

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A bar walks into a man... The man begins screaming uncontrollably as the corner of the building is inserted into his anus. Brick by brick, the bar forces its way inside the man's ass, as blood begins dripping down his legs. The man knows damn well it is impossible for such a large building to be contained inside him, but he grits his teeth and forces his ass open wider. His ribs break, his lungs collapse, and his now lifeless body is stretched into the shape of the bar. The bar is almost entirely consumed before the man's skin gives way to the bulging pressure...with an explosion of blood & organs, the shredded remains of the man are slung-shot around the lot where the bar formerly stood. The bar, now soaked in a mixture of blood & organ fluid, reflects upon the failure of its experiment. For the next attempt, a man of far greater fortitude must be used, so that his body does not burst so easily. Only then will it achieve its dream of becoming the first bar to walk into a man.

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Josh Moran sticks CD's up his dick to see how fun it is to give a boy anal.

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why did sarah have to do overtime at work? because i set her house on fire

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I swear to god it wasnt me Dont swear to go its a sin !

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Did you hear the one about the guy who couldnt find his shoes? No? ok ill talk to someone who will get the reference

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What's worse than burning your bacon? Finding your daughter decapitated and raped in the basement.

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I read a haiku. It was honestly quite good. That's basically it.

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The Pope, a Rabi and an Islamic religious leader go into a room and come out with what? A new understanding of each others cultures.

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what do you call a chicken thats little? a chicken. I lied about the little part

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A horse walks into the bar and says "why the long face?" The bartender replies "hey! I was supposed to say that!"

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what happens when you try to believe it's not butter? 34 Indonesian kids lose their job.

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Listen Supervisor, this is Agent Clarke of the GOV and the WHO, I suggest you respond ASAP, I suggest you put set me in touch with either Lady, or Axel Knight right away, this is a matter of your personal security.

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Why couldn't the baby play with the blocks? It died during birth.

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I tried to play soccer a long time ago. I didn't score and managed to get red card... Then I realized it was not my thing

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And now a word from our sponsors

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What's blue and looks like water? Yes.

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Bob loves Anne. Anne loves Bob. No one cares.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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