guess what my weiner dog did last night? pooped in my bed

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What do you call a dog without a bone? Floppy.

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What is big, round, hairy, black with a little bit of white and red stripes, large feet, small hands, squinty eyes and a purple beret? Nothing. How ridiculous.

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Q: Knock - Knock A: NO SOLICITORS!

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Q. What you call a Guy with no arms an no legs in the water? A. Bob

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It's caoimhin I wasnt writing cos kane turned my computer off the bel end aodhans been tuping sayin its be the spa.

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I had a chocolate chip cookie today, thats it, just a chocolate chip cookie.

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Spongebob. "Hey Patrick, I thought of something funnier than 24." Patrick "Let me hear it." Spongebob "25"

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Jimmy: Daddy how are babies made? Dad: If i knew how you wouldn't be here...

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So a man walks into a bar, And because he is dressed in such a way that was thought of as threatening to the general safety of the highly valued customers, he is shot eight times in the head.

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What did the homosexual community have last night? A protest for gay rights.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag. How do you make a man pregnant? Stick a dead baby up his ass! How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head. How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. -S

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Hey dude. who died.... crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets YO MAMA

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Why did the little boy fall over. Because someone shot him in the face.

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A Blonde Goes On "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire"

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What do I hate? people

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What did the child say after the priest touched him? Thank you for the ashes Father, have a blessed Lenten season.

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What's worse than finding a knife in your car? Finding a car in your knife.

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You remind me of something What? Monday Why? Nobody likes you

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What do Ping-Pong and Godzilla have in common? Both of them have nothing to do with budhism.

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I'm a wise old man, so I'm aloud to touch you in the bathing suit area.

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Q: What did the giraffe say to the sunflower? A: I like your shoelaces!

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A person affected by Alzheimer's is asked a knock knock question- Knock Knock Who's there? Boo Wait what are we doing again?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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