what has 2 legs and red all over half a cat.

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What do call the time things don't go the way you plan them? Reality. bitch

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Whats the worst thing a 13 year old could do? Have a Bar Mitzvah in Holocaust Germany.

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I don't believe in giraffes.

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How do you get rid of black elephants? Arrest it for being black.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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whats better than nailing a baby to a wall? Ripping it off the wall.

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What is it... Michael J Fox has a small one, modonna doesnt have one, Arnold Shwatznegger has a long one, the pope doesn't use his, and bill clinton uses his a lot. A last name

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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what's worse than falling and scraping your knee? living within a 10 mile radius of a Japanese nuclear reactor

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Why didn't Tyron run from the police? He had no legs.

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Why did the bartender leave the bar? He worked really long hours and finally needed some time to sleep.

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Why did the black man get pulled over by a cop? He was driving 12 miles over the speed limit.

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why do jews like money? So they can support their family.

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If life gives you lemons.... Life is an abstract noun not a physical object so it can not give you lemons.

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Why are there only 50 states in the U.S.A The US gives territories a chance to vote if they want to be states in the US.

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i just cant stand up to cripple jokes

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What smells like death and makes kids cry? Dead animal

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WHat is funnier than a baby swimming. - A baby drowing.!

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That dress looks amazing on you considering how fat you are.

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Why did the chicken cross the playground? Because he was looking for other chickens because he has no friends and he got bullied when he was in 12th grade. He got picked on because he was sledding down his hill in his backyard and he accidentally scraped one side of his face on ice and started bleeding. The next day his classmates started calling him two face.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of a tree? It was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of a tree? It was cruelly stapled to the first one.

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a man walks into a bar and buys a drink

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Why was the boy sad? Because a freak accident killed his mum his dad his best friend and he lost both his legs and is unable to feed himself

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops