what do you do with a drunken sailor? take him back to port because he's not in a right state of mind to be on board a moving vessel

thumb_up thumb_down -20

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you call a woman outside of the kitchen? Out of place.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did Bob drop his ice cream? Because he got hit with a super models TIttys

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q: Whats A Schoolbus Full Of Black Children??? A: A Rotten Banana!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

what did the thief say to the man that lost his car? i stole your car.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

what do you call a baby with a stamp on his nose.? Kentucky won the national championship this year

thumb_up thumb_down -22

so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

a black man, a Jew, a Chinese man and a polar bear walk into a bar, the bar tender says sorry no animals allowed in the bar, so the polar bear left and the other three ordered some drinks and had a nice time

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do you call man with no limbs or a head? Your neighbor.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why do black people have white palms? Genetics.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Relax, close down the place, he wont get very far. The rest of you better stay inside, and I promise you will all remain safe and secure.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did the homeless black guy write on his sign? need money for weed.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

You in love with me? Like platonic? Fine, we will move operations elsewhere, you really got to tell me who you are working for someday.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

what do you call a brown man that has been repeatedly shanked and has been fucked up the arse by 10 Rag heads in one night and thrown in a well to slowly and painfully die? Lloyd.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

roses are red, violets are blue, i have alzheimers, cheese on toast.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Grandpa loved a good joke, he died laughing. The doctor said it was a severe stroke probably brought on by smoking aggravated by high cholesterol and high blood pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

"You can't get past" "I'll get future" dad cri mom cri boy bang girl girl cri women's rites sholdnt exist.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Q: What did the vomiting man say to his friend? A: BLEEEAAARRRGGHH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to his wife? A: BLAAAARRRRRGGGHHH!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the waiter in the restaurant? A: BLAAAAAARGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to Leonardo DiCaprio? A: BLEEEEAAAARRGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the convenience store clerk? A: BLAAAAAARRRGGGGHHHH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to your mom? A: BLAAAARRRGGGHH!!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to Barack Obama? A: BLAAAARRRRRGGHHHH!! Q; What did the vomiting man say to the King of Saudi Arabia? A: BLAAAAAAAAAAAEEEAAARRGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the bartender? A: BLLLEEEEAAAARRGHHHH!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the funeral home director? A: BLLLEEEAAAARRRGGGHHH!!

thumb_up thumb_down -24

a man walks into a bar.... his? drinking problem is seriously affecting his family

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why is 6 scared of 9? Because 9 is a zombie.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

an emo girl walked into a white room

thumb_up thumb_down -24

I have a dig bick You that read wrong You read that wrong too You read that again to make sure I'm not fucking with you

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops