Q:What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A:Lick-a-lotta-pus

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what do you call a black man in a cop car? a policeman

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What's the difference between a Gay Man and a Straight Woman? Anatomy.

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What's worse than forgetting to charge your cell phone battery? Getting wrongfully accused and going to jail and get raped by inmates for the rest of your life.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Whats the difference between a kangaroo and a kangeroot ? Ones a marsupial. The others a Geordie stuck in a lift.

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what's worse then the holocaust finding a worm in your apple.

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson sleep with boys anymore? -Because he is dead.

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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Q. What did the Vampire say when he ate the Pizza? A. Nothing. It is literally impossible for a vampire to be real, therefore it's insane if you thought it said something.

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Ask me about my wiener. How's your wiener? I don't have a wiener, I'm a woman.

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What did the man say to the tree? Nothing, he was a mime.

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs laying at your doorstep? Matt.

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An Englishman, a Scotsman and a Welshman are all in the Great Britain Olympic squad,

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Q: You know why the floor is so clean? A: Because the janitor puts a lot of hard work into it.

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What do a baby and a slinky have in common? They both bring a smile to your face when you push then down a flight of stairs.

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why did the man ride the helicopter,because he was hurt horrible in a car accident.

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how did the snake fly? it couldnt snakescant fly

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Why did the washing machine laugh? Because it took the piss out of the knickers!!!!! :)

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What do you do to Jewish people? You Challah at them.

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A: Knock knock. B: Come in. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ?cash(p)

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Q: What do Captain Jack Sparrow, Captain Crunch, Captain Morgan and Captain Kangaroo all have in common? A: They are all caucasian

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Ask me if I'm wearing pants. Are you wearing pants? Yeah.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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