Jim: Kevin, how old are you? Kevin cries because they are twins. His Brother was hit in the head with a bat yesterday and does not remember anything.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Roses are stools, Violets are bums, sugar is knit, thank you, LSD.

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The kid next door was running around shouting spells and carrying a wand. ''I bet you'd love to be like Harry Potter!'' I told him. ''Yes!'' he exclaimed. So I killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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What has two legs and is red all over? Half a dog.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Penis.

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whats worse than nailing 8 babies to 8 trees? nailing 1 baby to 8 trees.

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What's dry and unpleasant to eat? Sand.

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whats brown and sticky? Doody

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Why was the Mexican man in the rich man's garden? Because he enjoys flowers.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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who would win in a gang battle? WEST COAST SWAG

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My wife was diagnosed with cancer yesterday. Yeh I didnt find it very funny either.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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What's worse than having a retarded baby? Not having a baby

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Whats the difference between a black man and a bucket of shit? The bucket.

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What's small, white, and it killed Bruce Lee? Aspirin.

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Once upon a time there was a young teenager who was bullied a lot. She died 100 years ago.

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What do you call a black prostetut with braces. A black and decker pecker wrecker

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Why did the officer arrest the black man? Because he suspected him of littering. ...and because he was black.

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I'm black and I will beat your children. (This is not an anti-joke)

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What's worse than stepping in tar? Getting your face ripped off by a man sized Tarantula

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So a girl says "I want to be a banana when I grow up". She's set unrealistic goals and her parents fear she may be autistic.

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What did Oprah get for christmas? Weight Watchers

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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