A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse being a horse and doesnt understand english is confused and scared by its surroundings it gallops away knocking over a few tables.

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Jake pulled out a gun and held it to his head, planning to fool his friends because he knew the gun was empty. Then his friend thought he was helping out his suicidal friend by stabbing him.

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why didnt the guy go to work one morning he died in a car accident

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I just wrote three jokes on antijoke.com ... nope, make that four.

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If you say "Hi" to every tree you pass, is that being environmentally friendly?

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Dylan F is stupid He goes to his cousins house Then falls into a pit Moves on

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop 397, IF you have a big tounge

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

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Q: The red house is to the left and the blue house is to the right. Where is the white house? A: 3 blocks down from the red house

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How do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The refrigerator is lying on its side and the door is ripped off. The food is all over the place and the shelves are scattered around the floor. Your house will have suffered severe structural damage that insurance plan might not cover. Also there is a mortified elephant in you kitchen.

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What do you call a white guy pointing a gun at someone? A member of the United States Army.

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How many blonde chicks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. One to set the house on fire, and the other to call 119.

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Q. How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb? A. Who knows? It's dark!

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What did the prizon cell mate get for christmas. Herpes!

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What's the worst part about eating a dead baby? It's a tie between the smell, the taste, and the depression associated with whatever decline in humanitsy that has brought you to this point in your life. Overall, it's an outright terrible situation.

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Why was the unemployed dolphin trainer so sad? His life has no purpoise. In an unrelated topic, how is he unemployed id he is a dolphin trainer?

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What's the difference between a man and a woman? Generally speaking- biology, except in cases of transexuality.

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Why was Michael Jackson so bad at dancing? Because he had a broken leg.

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Once there was an English man, A Scottish man and an Irsh man. They were all in a scenario where each of them had to undetake a task. The English man and the Scottish man undertook their task without any problems, but the Irish man was confused resulting in a hilarious outcome.

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What did the man say when he was stabbed on the street? Nothing, because he died.

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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I used to have an ugly,black and disabled man as a friend. However, he had a very nasty personality so we are no longer friends.

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A baby boy and a baby girl are much alike they both taste good

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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