There is a hawk and a squirrel sitting in a tree. a farmer walks by with a strange package so the hawk turns to the squirrel and says nothing because he is an animal and incapable of speech, he then eats the squirrel because he is a bird of prey.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a man with a spade stuck in his head? An ambulance, he may be in need of urgent medical assistance

thumb_up thumb_down +6

knock knock whoses there whose home whoses home who? you

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A muslim gets on an airplane and takes his seat. The plane lands safely and he enjoys his vacation in Florida.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the chicken cross the road? It had gotten out of its coop.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock Knock Who's there? Jim Come on in!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the chicken cross the road? It escaped.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the boy fail the math test? He has a learning disability.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you starve a black man? Take away his current food stocks, and means of income.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the child say he had been a ubused. Answer: because he had been.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Joey: hey bobby who you talking to? Bobby: oh yeah I forgot to tell you your mom died.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What is the difference between Acenaphthoquinone and Acetoguanamine? I don't know...

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why does Rebecca Black like Friday? Because it's the start of the weekend

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: Who was the most famous French skeleton? A: Napoleon bone-apart.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the group of black men do to the old white woman? Gave her back the purse she dropped.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the difference between a black man and a bench? A bench is nonsentient, generally heavier and not necessarily light-dark brown colored, whereas the black man is fully capable of thinking and usually has dark toned skin.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A Stoner sees a bag of chips.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

knock! knock! who's there? the police, your family died in a car crash!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why is six afraid of seven? because seven is black

thumb_up thumb_down +2

alex and clayton are having sex at school. at that point, their teacher walks in and tells clayton about the dangers of unprotected sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? 6 million, 1 to screw it in, and 5,999,999 to die in the holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops