Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub. The first polar bear says, "Pass the soap." The second polar bear replies, "No soap, radio." OMG YOU DON'T GET IT?!?!?!?! NOOB

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Why did the catholic preist take all the little boys out in the woods? They were going on a camping trip.

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Q:Whats the difference between Glenn Close and a black widow? A:one is a person, the other is a species of spider.

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How do you take a picture of a man with a wooden leg? You can't take pictures with wooden legs.

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what do you call a black drug dealer? A pharmacist.

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how do u wake kesha up? Answer:set her alarm clock to a reasonable time

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Penis.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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wanna hear a sad joke? you! by mad james

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A man walks into a bar, buys a pint of beer, talks to his friends for while and leaves.

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Once upon a time there was a young teenager who was bullied a lot. She died 100 years ago.

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what do you call the breaching of the anal cavity with a penis? butt sex

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Why did Sally fall off the swings? She has no arms. Knock knock Whose there? Not Sally, she has no arms

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Why was the man upset? Both sides of his pillow were warm.

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Optimist: The glass is half full. Pessimist: The glass is half empty. Realist: Find something better to do than talk about a glass.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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whats something you really wanna call a black person it starts with an "N" and ends in an "R" A. Friend i was joking about the "N" and "R"

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3 men of different races walk into a bar. The bartender then proceeds to ask, "what would you 3 men like?"

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There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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What do you call a man with no legs? A leg-less man.

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why was the pineapple bullied at school? cuz it was a pineapple duhhhhhhh

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Please ignore this statement.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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