A muslim gets on an airplane and takes his seat. The plane lands safely and he enjoys his vacation in Florida.

What do you call a man with a spade stuck in his head? An ambulance, he may be in need of urgent medical assistance

There is a hawk and a squirrel sitting in a tree. a farmer walks by with a strange package so the hawk turns to the squirrel and says nothing because he is an animal and incapable of speech, he then eats the squirrel because he is a bird of prey.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken had just escaped from the slaughterhouse where he witnessed the brutal decapitation of his entire family and in his heightened emotional state was unable to map out a safer and more sensible route.

Wayne Rooney's face and intelligence.

The President walks into a local pub. Everyone shits their fricken pants because the President is here.

if u read this u r bent A. Now your bent

Q. why did the black man cross the road? A. Cause there is no law saying he cant

How do you get children to behave? Chop them up.

whats green and lives in the water

Stripper went to strip club to ask for work. - It was closed

A man walks into a shop and picks up some items for his party. He walks out of the shop without paying for the items. The police are promptly called and the man receives a 4 year sentence in prison for shoplifting.

Q: What's one thing that 5 out of 6 people always agree on? A: Gang Rape

What did the man on the moon say? Nothing. He died because his supply of oxygen ran out.

What's grammatically incorrect about this sentence? Nothing. I lied.

Why does Rebecca Black like Friday? Because it's the start of the weekend

Q: Who was the most famous French skeleton? A: Napoleon bone-apart.

What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

Knock Knock Who's there? Jim Come on in!

What is the difference between Acenaphthoquinone and Acetoguanamine? I don't know...

A Stoner sees a bag of chips.

Why did the girl make a sandwich for her boyfriend? Because she offered to make lunch in order to save money by not going to a restaurant.

Why did the boy fail the math test? He has a learning disability.

How do you starve a black man? Take away his current food stocks, and means of income.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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