Q: what did the dog say to the cat? A: nothing dogs can't talk

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There was a boy named Johnson. He was a happy boy who had a mother and father who loved. One day he didn't do his homework

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I still remember the last thing my grandfather said before he kicked the bucket. He said: "Hey, I wonder how far I can kick this bucket."

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rodents are bed violents are glue i have lysdexia and short attention spa

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How do you stop a little boy from annoying you? You chop his balls of. Why was the little boy sad? Because someone chopped his balls off.

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Why didn't the boy have any pockets on? He didn't have any pants on

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Hey, you know what would be funny? A joke.

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You wanna hear what's totally out of this world? The moon

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what did the person with yellow teeth and the person with white teeth have in common? they have a nose.

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When is a Jewish persons bedtime? When the brain releases endorphins, causing drowsiness, which usually leads one to sleep.

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What does a spider Pig do? Nothing. They dont exist.

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Here's a riddle: What can you catch, but not throw? A really heavy ball, or STDs.

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Sigh, at times like this I begin to ponder what I am doing with my life. I do not look that much like some anime character thingie, she is awfully cute for a anime character though.

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Bob: Do you know the difference between beer and women? John: No Bob: Oh

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If David has 40 chocolate bars and eats 35 what does David have now? Diabetes, David has diabetes.

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Nock Nock Whose there? Your mom. Stop locking your door.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Bill Bill who? Bill your neighbor. Can I have some flour?

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A women driver prepares to park in a small space between to cars on the side of a road. She safely and flawlessy parallel parks, and proceeds to enter a nearby coffe shop for an important business meeting.

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What did the Jew say to the black guy? Hey whatsup?

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Q. Why did Obama cross the road? A. To collect taxes from the houses on the other side

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That was totally mean! I mean I was in no way going to say any of that to you! Especially not the last part, sorry that must have been part of the suggestion or something, I barely ever tell myself stuff like that, I mean stop it okay? I mean I totally read it and all but I was all like "I am notnot typing that" please stop it, its humiliating.

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How do you get a bunch of Jews in a car? You tell this family who happens to be of Jewish faith that they are going to be late for the birth of another family member's child. How do you get them out? Tell the mother had a miscarriage. This will make them promptly want to leave the care and grieve with the other family members for the lost child.

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Whats the best way to tell if your wife has been cheating on you with the UPS guy? simply ask her, trust and communication in relationships are vital in their survival and growth.

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Knock knock Who's there? To To whom? No, its To Who now, since I married

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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