Enters password. Sorry your password must contain the entire alphabet, your left foot, a theme song to a television show, and the blood of your enemies. Enters password. Password Strength: Weak

“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are stupid. It most likely starved to death when it got stuck in a hole.

How can you know your roommate is gay? His dick has the taste of shit

What the flower say to the bird. Nothing

Q.A zebra somehow managed to get out of the zoo and started running all around the town. After some time he saw a zebra crossing(not an original zebra crossing the road but the black and white stripes)on the road.He stoppped suddenly.WHY? A. He was too tired to run any more!!!

Doctor, Doctor. I think I've broke my arm! I'm going to refer you to the fracture clinic.

Why was it okay for the people in the hospital to laugh at the patient with narcolepsy? It wasn't. The patients were treated due to moral obligations. But the doctors that laughed had either been fired or warned, depending on if there were previous reports of exploitation of patients.

Who threw beer on livvy barnett? Cam irwin.

What are the similarites between Autistic people and dead people? They are both very poor in social situations

How do you drown a blonde? A: Drowing any person no matter the color of their hair is conpletely illegal and considered murder.

the reason why waldo is hiding from chuck norris is because they are playing hide and seek.

Why cant the asian find his family? His eyes were too squinty

A. Did you hear about the circus fires? b. They were intense. (in tents)

Three men are walking, the first one walks into a bar. He has a couple of drinks because he is depressed. He drives home, drunk, and dies in a car accident. His wife finds out and hangs herself.

You know what's funny with rape? Nothing. It's horror.

A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He than orders some drinks.

What do you call a man wearing a fedora doing the moonwalk? A man wearing a fedora doing the moonwalk.

Did u hear about the jew that bought something not on sale? Neither did i.

The global news

On September 11th 2001, A worker of North twin tower man woke up to find his dog had chewed on his brand new phone. He went down stairs and realized his kitchen window had been broken. Getting ready to leave for work and saw his radio had been stolen out of his car. After finally making it to work and settling down in his office he spilled coffee on his lap. Enraged, the man yelled, "How could today get any worse!?"

What do you call the man with no arms or legs, swimming in the bay? Bob.

I knew a little girl once. She was ate before she was seven.

Knock knock who's there atch watch who? bless you

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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