wanna hear a joke? i dont like kids wanna hear a lie? im typing with two hands wanna hear a another? my hand isnt on my weiner

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a pope and priest walk into a bar what's the first thing they say? OUCH my head

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What does? 42

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A man walks into a bar and probably sustains serious head injuries and possibly a concussion as most bars are usually made out of solid metals such as iron or steel and is therefore not permitted by his doctor to engage in sports or other rigorous activities for an allotted period of time depending on the degree of his injury.

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Oracle horacle, you big bloated boracle!

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knock knock who's there? john john who? john opens his mouth only to be gunned down by a terrorist attack

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Q How do you make the fire fighter sad? A Kill his dog

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What did the foreigners do to pass time? They blew up the twin towers.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding Barney the purple dildo!

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How do you creep out a clown? Pet him softly and call him kitty kat while making a guttural sound that is not socially acceptable in mainstream American society.

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What do you call a bunch of spics playing soccer? Professional soccer players.

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Q.How many blonds does it take to change a light bulb? A.1

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because I hit her with an axe.

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Q: What is Fftp poort grtz gruxxyw? A: DYSLEXIA!

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Q: What's green and has four wheels? A: A green car.

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he found out the oreo he slept with last night had aids and he wanted to make sure he didnt get the deadly disease so he went to the doctor to get tested.

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a teacher walked into a bar and when he walked out he went to his car and proceeded to take notes about the bible, not realising he's supposed to be writing notes from his English book... he's dyslexic and got punched in the eye while he was in the bar; did i mention he doesn't drink?

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How did 3 fat women fit under 1 small umbrella and not get wet? It wasn't raining!

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What's worse than depression? Having depression and killing yourself

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What's worse than having a gay friend? 9/11.

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A man walks into a bar and says "ow"; he stepped on a nail sticking up through one of the floorboards. He then sues the bartender for a large sum of money because of the injury he sustained, and causes the bartender to lose everything he owns in order to pay off his debt.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because his hands were amputated.

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Q: Do you know how to save a black man from drowning? A: No. GOOD!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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