Why did the cook throw up at McDonalds? Because his pay check was made out to the Ronald McDonald Foundation.

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What did the church say to the house? You need jesus

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Roses are red Violets are blue Hop in the van or I will rape you

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Why did the turtle cross the road? Because there was a chicken stapled to his face.

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Death by kayak

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knock knock who's there boo boo who why are you crying it's just a joke

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What do you call a middle-eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

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Q: What did the doctor say to his wife? A: Penis.

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar answer his cell phone? Because he's DEAD.

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Why did a girl get an STD? She had sex.

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What's as hard as a rock? A rock

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What did the mute person tell the deaf person? Nothing. Even if sound could emit from his vocals the impaired of hearing person would still be unable to respond unless they have taken classes to read lips. The deaf person didn't take classes nor did the mute person learn sign language.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Across the street was a strip mall containing a dry cleaners where he had to pick up his suit for his cousins wedding. The wedding caused controversy in the family considering she was jewish. He had a lot to drink and took a cab home, knowing the dangers of drunk driving in todays society. He had a great time.

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Why did the boy have to ride the bus? Because both his parents died.

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What did the golfer do on his vacation? He played golf.

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A Rabi, a priest, and a monk all go to different churches because they all have different beliefs an respect each others decisions.

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My dog dumps in my house she looks at me and says rut row

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What do you get when you see a black man writing? A man devoted to getting a education.

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A Higgs Boson walks into a church, and the priest says, "We don't allow Higgs Boson's in here," and the Higgs Boson says, "But I thought Christianity promised acceptance to everyone who believes."

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What do mario and luigi have in common They are both plumbers

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Why did Suzie's friend put rubbish in her mouth? Because Suzie is a rubbish bin.

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Q: why didn't the asian boy ask for a calculator? A: you don't need calculators to make shoes

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Why DIDN'T the chicken cross the road? Because it got hit by a bus

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What is pink and smells like tuna? Salmon

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops