Who has no penis Religious Believers

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs sky diving? I don't know, but that sounds like a highly improbable circumstance.

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whats a muslims name with a bomb to his chest Whatever his name is HAHAHAHAHAH

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rock crushes scissors, scissors are useless. scissors cut paper, little stips of paper are usless. paper covers rock, structure of rock remains intact.

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teacher: who's going to pass english? students: us teacher: not you, i lied about the passing

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What did the man say to the cat? I thought you were fake.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist.

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What did the penis say to the vagina? Cover me, im going in.

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You trying to be funny kid? This is a matter of security to the national degree, point zero has been compromised, unless you bring out one of these soon, I am myself going to drag your ass into prison.

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What did a husband do when he came home to find his wife murdering their children? Nothing. There is no excuse for domestic violence.

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A priest, a rabbi, and an imam walk into a bar. It's also a bistro, and they have a lovely lunch together.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream. Because he got hit by a bus

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? The pig rolled in the mud!

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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A man with a PhD walks up to a college student and jokingly says "Hey dude, what did the hat say to the other hat?" The student replies "My name is Joe and a hat does not have a mouth, therefore it cannot speak." The student is then unimpressed on how uneducated the man is, also worring about how the man was able to receive a PhD.

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Never again, I have all the intel I need on you, you cost me a fucking eye, you think I would let go of that so easily? It hurts day and night, I have not slept in days, my fucking eyelid is torn right off, and while I use a fucking excuse for an eyepatch, I still have not gotten used to sleep without being able to shut both my eyes, I have a constant fever, you miss me, you are directly responsible for scaring my wife and fucking over my face. Deal with it, cry harder asshole. Moral: You step on my foot, I break off yours, you cost me an eye, you do not know whats waiting in line for you, I am going to make you beg me to let you die! Did you think I would warm up as quickly to something as irresponsible as you? And we do not know yet if you did this on purpose, we do not even live in the same fucking country, and I get assholes assaulting me again! What the hell have you done? If my wife had been here I would have been dead! Moral: I hope you got pets, I will skin them alive in front of your face!

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Why could susan not get up? Because her limbs were hacked off by a African militia group.

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A sad guy walks in to a bar and the bartender asks, what's the matter? The guy responds, I just found out i'm deaf

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Your mom is so fat, she had a heart attack and died. It was very sad and she will be missed.

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What do you get when a fat kid eats a donut... A Heart Attack.

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what did the thief say to the man that lost his car? i stole your car.

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What's white and sticky.... Jizz

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Why are white people white? I don't know

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I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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