Q: what's red and covers an elementary school wall? A: a red crayon

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What's worse than falling in the mud whilst wearing a suit? Burying your parents.

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What do you call a guy with a rainbow tuxedo on? A classy man that is very well dressed

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Q.How do you get a dog to meow ? A. Put the dog in the freezer overnight . . Get a chainsaw and run it along his back in the morning . " Meowrrrr..."

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Three blokes walk into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability

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Why did Susie fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Not Susie.

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What do you call a black priest? Father, and then whatever his name happens to be.

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A boy plays in his garden. Then he fall and his knee hurts a lot, but he doesn't cry. Do you know why? Because he's dead.

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What is the worst part about eating a vegetable? Eating the wheelchair too.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit.

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Try this on your friends and make them look dumb So a plane crashes on the border between the USA and Canada. Where do you bury the survivors? You don't bury the survivors.

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Why did the man die? He helped others before placing his own oxygen mask on.

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BOYS ARE DUMB AND THEY SMELL FUNNY AND IM ANGRY

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What do you call a green dog? A green dog.

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Why did the black basketball team beat the white basketball team? They practiced more

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Q:What do you call a mexican witha clean record? A: Impossible

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what do you get when you cross a turkey with a goat? nothing you can't cross to genetically different spieces stupid

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Gregory: Hey, aren't you that pretty girl I saw from the party? Jenny: Huh? Gregory: No wait, it can't be you. Because you are WAY prettier. Jenny: Aw, that's so sweet, lemme give you my phone number. Gregory: Okay I'm ready to copy Jenny: It's 1-800-get-a-life-loser Gregory: Biitch

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Once upon a time there lived 3 polar bears; a mummy polar bear, a daddy polar bear and a baby polar bear. Ond day the baby polar bear said to the daddy polar bear "I don't feel like a polar bear, I'm cold!" and the daddy polar bear said "You look like a polar bear."

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What is one similarity between John Samos, and the dreadful clown? they have a red nose and are payed to be funny, aside from John Samos!

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Two friends are arguing over who is the best pie maker. '' I've made pumpkin, apple, peach, cherry, blueberry, and sweet potato!" " Yeah well I've made all of those AND pecan!'' ''Yeah well have you ever made boysenberry pie?!" "No! What the hell!" *in a calm tone* " Yeah, me neither."

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I accidentally solicited a prostitute today. I was driving in an iffy neighborhood and saw a woman on the sidewalk, so I stopped to ask if she could give me directions. She must have misheard me.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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What is funny about civil and women's rights? Nothing, they are very serious matters.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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