What do you get when you cross the motorway with a lottery ticket? You get knocked down and killed.

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A new born baby is left alone in his crib after a long day of playing, He gets taken out of his crib for his first meal with his grandparents, he is excited, His grandparents come in and after the usual praising of the child they sit down for dinner, They are having chicken, His mother puts the spoon to his mouth, He chews it and swallows it, It gets stuck in his throat and he suffocates and dies.

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Have you heard that Bert & Ernie from Sesame Street are gay? If so, than whoever told you may be mentally challenged, Bert & Ernie are both puppets which even though they resemble people with active personalities, they remain puppets and do not have a sexual oreintation.

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What did the mentally retarded man say to the Waiter who brought him his soup? Thanks for bringing me my soup.

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Q. What do you get if you cross a suspicious person with a paranoid person? A. Who wants to know

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THERE'S THE IDENTITY THIEF GET HIM!

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what do you get when you cross an elephant with a lake? swimming trunks.

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Q: Why was the teacher sad? A: Because she got fired

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A white guy and a black guy are sitting in a bar. The white guy apologizes to the black guy for the hundreds of years of slavery endured by his people.

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How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

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dont be races! be like mario he is a italian plumer , he works for a white princess , catches coins like a jewish guy and he jumps like a black guy.

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EVERYBODY has a penis!!! Everybody!!!!

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why was 14 scared of 15? 7-8-9

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What did the elephant say to the naked man? "Cute, cute, but can it pick up peanuts?"

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What did the tiger say to the jellyfish? Nothing; tigers can't talk. And if they could the chances of a tiger meeting a jellyfish would be very slim.

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Why did the blonde girl drink lots of water? Because the fat comments got to her and she changed her diet to nothing but water

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A black man walks into a store with a ski mask on... what does he do?? he buys skiis.

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Why did the kid get beaten up? -he was gay

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Q: Why did the Honey Badger cross the road? A: Honey Badger don't care!!!

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Whats the difference between a jew and a boy scout? The boy scout comes home from camp.

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"Why did the chicken cross the road? ... To get to your house. Knock knock." "Who's there?" "The chicken"

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Why did the boy get nothing from Santa on Christmas? His parents died the night before!

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why do you kill people in call of duty you don't you kill computer made figures

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What's purple, smells like an eggplant, and looks like an eggplant? An eggplant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops