what did Tim get for Valentimes day? nothing, no such day exists. spell check

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denisssssssssssssss

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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Three men were on a plane. Oh wait. You probably already heard this one.

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Who moved faster? The snail or the blind man? The blind man until he ran into the road and got hit by a bus.

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It's weird how two of the SAME jokes can get different ratings.

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Adam eats ginger nuts the fookin chicken

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Your mom is so ugly she often finds it difficult attracting members of the other sex.

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If an ugly person got raped. What would that be called? Nothing. It is never gonna happen. Kelvin Yang.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. Fortunately, the bra was on display in a clothing store and was not actually being worn at the time.

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What's green and blue, and red all over? Nothing. It if were red all over it wouldn't be green and blue.

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Why was the boy sad? A crazed drifter killed his family and made him watch.

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Why shouldn't you try to pick up a live scorpion with your teeth? Because it could easily sting your face, or mouth.

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What's green and if you eat it you die? A Biljarts table.

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Do I ever ask yo a question that I havn't given you the answer to Mr Hearty.

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what's worse then the holocaust finding a worm in your apple.

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Ask me if I am a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

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What's brown and sticky? A lump of shit.

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Billy Idol walks into a New York City Bar. He snorts lines of coke with his comrades in the bathroom and continues his night by having sex with attractive underage females

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What did the blind man say to the mentally challenged man when he bumped into him? Watch where you're going, retard.

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A neutron walks into a bar. The barman says, "for you, no charge." The neutron replies, "very funny asshole, you're just going to put it on my tab after I pass out."

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Why Was the student driver using his cell phone in the car? Because he had gotten in a mild accident with a midsized sedan so he was quickly dialing his AAA agent for roadside assistance so he can get back to his loving family and three children

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What time is it? It depends in your location and time zone

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What comes after 7? Pedophiles.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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