What did you call something that is long, hard and full of seamen? A ship.

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what's the difference between northerners and southerners? southerners live to the south of birmingham, and they don,t stink of urine.

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Roses are red violets are blue. A face like yours belongs in the zoo! But don't you worry I'll be there too! But not in the Ill be laughing at you

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Why did John not like his chocolate? It wasn't chocolate it was poop.

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Knock! Knock! Who's there? Russel. Russell who? Russell Johnson. Oh, come in.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Ask her a very challenging question.

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Why was 6 afraid of seven? It isn't numbers are not sentiment objects therefore incapable of feeling fear

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there was a black man n a white man they went into a hauted house the black man saw a penut butter slice n tryed to eat it then the ghost said dont eat the penut butter slice so the black man ran away so then the white man came and saw the penut butter slice the white man toke a bite then the ghots said i told u once i told you 2 i wipe my ass with that penut butter slice

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Hi i want a cheeseburger and a small fry, said bob. And then, said the guy taking the order. thats all, said bob. And then, said the guy. Ummmm ok well i take small coke, said bob. And then, said that guy. Thats all, said bob. and then, said the guy. whatever i'll take a milkshake, said bob. And then, said that guy. and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then

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What did the Jamacian say to his friends? Yo me Rastas' on de cloud shroud atta boy 9PM we rizzle into da hitasses bar and we order us da drink of "grandpa's cough medicince" me tinks, who grees wid my view od oftaday Rastas?

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Say you are caught in a net with 10 other people in said net at a construction site. A pair of scissors are right next to you and everyone said to use the scissors. But instead of using the scissors, you use your teeth in risk of a broken tooth.

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whats funnier then a children's hospital..... it catching on fire.

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Why did the boy not eat his ice cream? He was addicted to self afflicting. The blood from one of his newer slashes oozed out on the cone which being wafer slowly got soggy. At this point the ice cream slid out of the cone as it was soggy and as he went to eat it, he found an abssence of ice cream. After this unprecedented occurance he gave up with his self harming, so all was good.

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Why didn't the boy eat chocolate yesterday Because he was allergic.

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What did the boy with cancer, no arms, and no legs get for his birthday? Nothing he was dead.

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What did the award-winning physicist say to the community college graduate? I'll have Chicken McNuggets please.

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how many shit jokes do you need to make before you realize that random does not equal funny? TOO FUCKING MANY

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf.

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why did the cow say baaaaa ? it was a stupid cow

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How do you make a firefighter happy? Give him a blowjob and 10 million dollars.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? A. Spot

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yo mama is so fat, she's obeise

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what's worse than a pile of dead babies? a pile of dead babies with a live one at the bottom eating its way out.

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What is worse than getting hit by a bus? 9/11

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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