What did Marshawn Lynch say? Yeah

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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9/11 my birthday

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Q: What did osama bin laden say to the worker behind the gas station counter? A: May I buy this bag of chips?

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justin bieber walks into a bar, he is then kicked out because he's under age.

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roses are red, violets are blue, im a bad poet, text me. LMFAO

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Why did the fat man cross the road? Because he felt that being overweight, he had to do something about it and go to the gym.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. This is a poem about flowers.

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My grandma told me to always keep my head up and just keep going. She fell down a manhole last week and died.

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-What's sad about four black guys driving off a cliff? -They were my friends.

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Q: Suzy loves apples, she will do anything to get her hands on an apple. Why didn't she eat Tom's apple? A: She ate someone elses apple and then he killed her before she could get to tom's!!!

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Q. How can you tell if a snake bites? A. It depends on if he walks to school or carries his lunch.

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Roses are red , Violets are blue You little dumb ass bitch Ain't fuckin' with yoouuuuuu

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Why was the man's foot hurting? Because he was being fed into a wood chipper

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I dyed my armpit hair blue yesterday because I wanted to start a new trend. My boyfriend later broke up with me.

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Guns don't kill people, books kill trees.

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If little jimmy has five candy bars and he eats three, what does little jimmy have? Diabetes

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Dam. Mothers Against Dyslexia.

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He died of alcohol poisoning that day

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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Q: What do you get when you have water, sodium C14-16 olefin sulfonate, glycerin, disodium lauroamphodiacetate, polysorbate 20, cocamidopropyl, betaine, PEG-6 Phenoxyethanol, PPG-15 Stearyl, Ether, Citric Acid, isocateth-20, Fragrance, Methylparaben, Tetrasodium EDTA, Xanthan Gum, Propylparben, Ethylparagen, and Camelia Sinensis Leaf Extract? A: All New Clean & Clear Oil Free Make-up Dissolving Foaming Cleanser.

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A man asks his wife to make him a sandwich, she proceeds to make a sandwich using rye bread, lettuce, two slices of tomatoes, a variety condiments, mustard and several slices of American cheese. The man eats the sandwich at a parade with his wife celebrating Woman's Rights.

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What did the doctor say to his wife? We have grown apart over the years, I want a divorce.

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what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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