Roses are blue, Violets are red, Pansies are green, I think I'm colorblind

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Q: What do you call a serial killer named Mark? A: Mark.

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How many retards does it take to screw in a lightbulb? No number of them could figure it out. They sit in the dark for hours, scared of the monsters.

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Q:what do u call a dead baby tied to my feet? A:new shoes

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A young boy walked in on his mom and dad in their room lastnight They were having a leisurely evening playing scrabble

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Whats funnier than a black man? A black president

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What do you call a Welshman with a stick up his arse? A very odd man

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caoimhin is a dorty carrot

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If John has 10 packs of beer and he drinks 8 packs,what is John left with? Morbid Obesity.

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What's brown and sticky? A lump of shit.

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How many beavers does it take to paint a house blue? 0, beavers cant paint.

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Ask me if I am a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

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There once was a girl with only one buttcheek. She couldn't go poop. She died.

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What do you call a newborn son? The proudest moment of your life. What do you call a newborn daughter? A disappointment.

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Why did seven eat nine? Because six was afraid of him.

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What's the difference between apples and oranges? You can't wash a window with a spade.

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How does Hitler like his juice? With pulp

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How do you get McFly into a Mini? McFly are a four member band and a mini has four seats so it's actually quite straightforward.

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jack be nimble jack be quick jack is a parapeligic.....there's no need for more

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What did the alcoholic tell his son? Don't do meth.

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Roses are yellow, Violets are purple, im not color blind you just cant read.

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Two guys walk into a bar together. They are diagnosed with a concussion and later on in life have serious brain issues

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A guy walks into a bar, and says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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