A horse and a penguin and a kangaroo come into a bar and order drinks from the bartender, who later gets fired for taking acid while working.

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Why did the teacher fall on her face? She was shot in the back of her head.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay in unimportant.

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What's the difference between an airplane and a cantaloupe? What? Wow your a dumby head.

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I am paralyzed from the neck down.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Why? Because she has no arms. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sally

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If you have three ice-cream cones, and you give away two, how many do you have left? Why would you give away your ice-cream? Eating it is the better option.

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Yellow People !!

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Knock knock. Who's there? Big Brother. Big Brother who? That's right. ALL are who, Akbar!

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What's worse than strapping 10 dead baibes to a tree? Strapping a dead baby to 10 trees.

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My ex wife looks like a pitbull.

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Q:How do you sleep with Paris Hilton? A:You don't. she got herpes.

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Why did seven eat nine? Because six was afraid of him.

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What do you call a deer in the wild? a deer

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Weaner

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How many babys does it take to paint a wall red? 7 and 24 paint brushes cause babys need do overs

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How do you kill a Chinese hobo Shoot him

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

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Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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A man walks into a bar. He buys something.

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a black guy walks into a bar and sits next to a white guy. White guy: "I don't like your kind here". Black guy: "what kind wound that be"? White guy: "the colored kind". The black guy turns away then looks back at the white guy and says", When I'm born I'm black, when I die I'm black, When I'm cold I'm black, and when I'm sick I'm black. You ( to the white guy ) when your born your pink, when you die your blue, when your cold your purple, and when your sick your green and your calling me colored???

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What do you call a jew in an oven? A safety hazard

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how do you make a cat get out of a tree you shot it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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