why did stuart buy an ipad from the mall. because he wanted an ipad

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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Knock Knock. You don't have a door.

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how did the black guy get into school? he walked thru the front door.

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Why did the Squirrel swim across the river upside down? To keep its nuts dry.

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Q: Why did princess Diana crops the road? A: Because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt

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hey i just met you and this is crazy but here is my gun so get in the van

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Q: Why do Asian children tend to be smarter than other children A: They have longer school years

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Justing Bieber walks in a bar. Everyone shoots him.

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123 f*ck off

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How did the chicken cross the road? Assuming the vehicles yielded to the chicken, it looked both directions before crossing then proceded across the street while staying between the crosswalk lines until it had reached the other side of the road.

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Q:Whats yellow and white and sits at the bottom of a pool? A: A baby with slashed floaties Q:Whats red and gory and sits at the top of a pool? A: Floaties with a slahed baby

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I'm schizophrenic and so am I. I also happen suffer from multiple personality disorder. Schizophrenia refers to separation of mental functions, manifesting in anti-social behavior and delusions, and is unrelated to the separate disorder of dissociative identity disorder, popularly known as multiple personality disorder, characterized by at least two distinct and enduring identities and dissociated personality states. Both are crippling to normal behavior and function due to lack of public awareness and funding. Now get out of our ghost train or we'll cut you.

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Q: Whats the difference between a trash can full of dead babies, and a porch? A: A porch isnt in my garage.

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What's the difference between a pelican? 28, because elephants have 4 legs.

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A black man and a Mexican man are in the back of a car. Who's driving? Not enough information to answer this question.

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roses are red violets are blue you smell like poo I F*****G HATE YOU!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? An obsession with what motivates a chicken.

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Why was Luke named Luke Skywalker? Because he walks to skies.

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing set? Because she died. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Lucy.

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SPILL THE BEAAAANNSSSS

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Whats worse the losing your 3 kids, your lovely beautiful wife, and your trusty dog, all your belongings and in a house fire while you're at work? Nothing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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