Where do penguins keep their money? No where. Penguins don't have a money economy

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? (Because she was blind and deaf?) No, because she was a woman.

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My mom told me and my brother to lean up on a commercial...we were watching netflix

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Why can't Elvis Presley drive a car backwards? Because he's dead!

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how many black people can you fit in a car? However many sets there are.

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Why couldn't the kid eat his vegetables? His parents stabbed him...

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Q: What do you call a fish with no eye? A: Fssshh

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because dinosaurs died out 65.5 million years ago.

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Every circle of friends has a "crazy one". If you can't figure out who the "crazy one" in your group is... Try harder. Either that or you are a terrible judge of character.

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Have u seen stevie wonders new house? No. Niether has he

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If the goverment wants us to be eco friendly then why are the eco friendly cars so expensive?

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What did the man say to the cat? I thought you were fake.

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What did the black man get for Christmas? Presents

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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mirror mirror on the wall who has the most desire of them all? Matt Daly!

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Q:What happened after the snake tricked Adam and Eve into eating fruit from the tree of wisdom? A: Nothing, but the three of knowledge was a whole other story though. Moral Man.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a bmw? I don't have a bmw in my garage.

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What did the girl say before she jumped a bridge? "Do you think I can jump off this bridge?"

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What did the shit covered people licking each others scrotums call themselves? The Aristocrats

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What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

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i saw amango it splootered

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What is furry, red, and flat? Road kill.

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Once upon a time, there were two brothers jumping on a bed. The one stopped because the other fell off the bead and died.

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mary poppins' handbag is full of fuckin dick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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