There once was a man from Nantucket. He was among thousands of men who were also from Nantucket.

Whats white and can kill you if it falls out of a tree? A refridgerator

What's the hardest part about watching a 2 year old get hit by a bus? Trying not to laugh.

My cat just died.

A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse being a horse and doesnt understand english is confused and scared by its surroundings it gallops away knocking over a few tables.

Dwarf Shortage

Why did the man scream? He got shot in the eye with a nail gun.

A guy wanted to write a joke. He didn't.

A horse, a duck, a pig, and a muslim walk into bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the muslim has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in chicago. The bartender reminds the muslim that he is keeping company with a swine, and the muslim feels offended for the poor horse.

Why was the dentist sent to jail? Because he committed a crime.

Whats 9 inches long, pink, and makes women scream? A miscarriage OuO

yo momma is so fat that she contributes to americas obesity problem

What did the Banana say to the human. Nothing, because bananas are not capable of talking

Why did the chicken cross the road? To try to get the antidote for his dying baby chick.

How many dead guys does it take to build a shed? None. The contractor did it for 40 dollars an hour using maple wood.

How many blacks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, unless he's short. Then, he'll need a friend to hold the ladder for him.

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding herpes in your apple.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!

Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

what is the difference between hitler and the jews? They had different religions

Why aren't there Olympics in Mexico? Idk Because everyone that can run jump or swim are already across the boarder.

Two Iranian men walk into a bar and order a Coke and a Lemonade. The Barman said take a seat and he'll bring them over.

What would George Washington do if he was able to talk to all of America? Ask them to dig him up.

Q: Why did the little girl fall off the swing? A: Hahahaha! I can't read.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...