Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Who the hell knows..?

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did little ben get for christmas? A dead grandma

thumb_up thumb_down -3

roses are red violets are blue they really are

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Roses are blue, Violets are purple, I like chicken. Do you like chicken?

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Nero7 How are you doing? This is "Eliza" I hope I will be joining, but I cannot reach you by phone, please respond ASAP time is running out.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Two muffins are cooking in the oven, they say nothing to one another as muffins can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down -3

roses are blue violets are red... i have to use the bathroom

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call a smart phone that doesn't want to work? The first conscious phone ever

thumb_up thumb_down -3

This one time, at band camp, I played the trumpet.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the man in the mirror say to the other man The Same F****** Thing!!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

on a scale from voldemort to nigel thornberry, how big is your penis?

thumb_up thumb_down -3

who's specky and stinks of shit? josh moran

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How did Alice get revenge on Diane when Diane called her fat? When Alice was pregnant, she stabbed herself in the stomach and blamed it on Diane. Diane was then sent to prison for murder and received a sentence of 25 years. Alice laughed in court, and Diane was forced to commit suicide. Alice then stole Diane's husband, and she lived happily ever after.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why does the chicken cross the road? 4

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A priest, a rabbi and a scientologist walk into a bar. They discuss their various religious viewpoints until the scientologist gets a call informing him of his mother's death. The priest buys him a drink. Then the priest gets a call informing him of his mothers death. The rabbi buys him a drink. The rabbi gets a call. The scientologist expects it to be about the rabbi's mother dying, so he prematurely buys him a drink. It was actually the lottery commission telling the rabbi he won 48 million dollars.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a cat up a tree in a party hat? A cat up a tree with a party hat

thumb_up thumb_down -5

1)Where do you find a turtle with no legs? 2)Where? 1)Where you left it. 1)... Knock Knock... 2)Who's there? 1)...Not the turtle...

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A man is at the dentists. The dentists says, "Oh my, your teeth are terrible!" The man says, "Yes I know. I am addicted to Meth".

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Whatever her name is.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He than orders some drinks.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Yo mamma's so stupid she failed the SAT.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What is better than tissues? Correct!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops