What's the difference between my dog and my wife? I respect my dog.

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What happened to the homeless man at midnight? He took a shit on the ground

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whats fat, green and hairy? Nothing I would pleasure myself to.

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What did the girl say before she jumped a bridge? "Do you think I can jump off this bridge?"

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How do you put a baby to sleep? Snap its neck.

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What's 9+10? 19

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was a socially responsible chicken and his family was on the other side and every day walks his ass across the street to go to work to provide for his family, unlike your dead-beat ass.

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What did the Blonde do when she saw train tracks? She walked over slowly, looked both ways, and crossed safely

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Roses are blurry so is everything else I need glasses

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how do you make a baby stop crying? but hot coals down its throat

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What's the difference between apples and oranges? You can't wash a window with a spade.

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Why did the woman come out of the kitchen? She didn't.

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy but your adopted banana

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Whats the difference between a monkey and a baby? Eating a baby tastes better with saltines.

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Paper or plastic? Yes...

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What's worse than a dead baby? What a sick question. Most would argue that nothing is worse than the death of an infant.

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Modern math questions: If I have 9 apples and you have 12 ice cubes, his many pancakes fit on a roof? Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

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Is it considered sexual harassment if a midget says to a woman, "your hair smells nice"? Holy crap i don't like black people.

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How do you make a firefighter happy? Give him a blowjob and 10 million dollars.

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Knock Knock Fuck off. I am new here. I do not know anyone here.

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everyone dislike the first joke on page one

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There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinic depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

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How long did it take Jeff, a middle-aged man with a lifelong speech-destroying lisp, to overcome his impediment? Less than ten minutes, as carbon monoxide is a colorless, odorless toxic gas that eliminates oxygen at a rapidly-acting rate inside of small areas such as the car Jeff locked himself inside.

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Why did the prestigious college accept the Native American student? Trick question, Native Americans don't exist anymore.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops