What do you say to a black man driving a car? Taxi

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Hey there, I like bananas! No you don't.

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. An impossible thing because he can't walk.

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I'm at a payphone. Though I'm out of change so I'm unable to call my girlfriend and break up with her.

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What do you call a woman who is addicted to crack, has a light mustache and huge saggy tits, has had 4 kids with 4 different fathers and makes her living giving hand-jobs behind the bus station? Mom.

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Why did the blonde lose her job as a teacher? Because she was in a sudden and violent car crash in which she died a slow agonizing death.

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Why didn't Jane text James? Because she was kidnapped.

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What is yellow and white and goes 150 miles down a railroad track? a duck.

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Why did Bob the Builder die? He had cancer.

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Three men walk into a bar. One of them is not planning to consume alcohol because they are responsible and he is the designated driver.

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How many gays does it take to change a lightbulb? It's COMPLETELY circumstantial.

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A kid is stuck in a fire, his dad (a firefighter) comes and saves him. Sadly the kid needed surgery from the fire. He went to the hospital and when the doctor looked at him he said "I cannot operate on my own son." How can this be? His parents are gay...

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Roses are red,vilots are blue just wait till I poo and till i kiss you

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Why did the dog have no legs? Because its previous owner had cut them off.

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A rooster lays an egg on top of a henhouse. Which way does the egg fall? Roosters don't lay eggs.

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you can either take the test now or on monday. (hand movement)

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Why did the elderly lady cross the road? Because an atomic bomb was exploding behind her

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What do a black man and a dog have in common? They're both going to die some day.

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Watching your mum get sandwiched by two black guys...

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To men walk into a bar. One says to a paying customer, "Mind if I sit here?" and the other man inquires the bartender about so.e fancy drink that takes five minutes to prepare. After 23 minutes, naturally, they left at exactly the same time and they went home to their wife and kids. They both share a wife and kids.

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A man with a barbie doll walks into a bar. He goes up to the bartender and says "I bet you $100 that I can turn this barbie doll into a beautiful lady". The bartender laughs and says "Okay." The man takes out a brush and begins brushing the doll's hair. Seconds later the man has a seizure and falls to floor a dies. It turns out he was a drug addict and had a fatal over dose. The bartender never got his $100.

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An american family is picknicking on the bottom of the ocean. They are eating french fries, big mac's, chicken mc nuggets and drinking coca cola, some slurpies too, all purchased at the local mac donalds near lyndon blvd, in chevy chase near that weird house with the toothless lady that always smiles and then all of a sudden frowns at you, often wearing either a dark green or mint green dress. Spongebob squarepants comes drifting by dead in circular pants and little Sally, their youngest daughter asks a question, which cannot be heard because they're underwater.

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Where did Suzy go after the explosion? - Everywhere.

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What do you call a black man called Jermaine? Jermaine!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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