why did sarah have to do overtime at work? because i set her house on fire

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's worse than burning your bacon? Finding your daughter decapitated and raped in the basement.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

I swear to god it wasnt me Dont swear to go its a sin !

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A horse walks into the bar and says "why the long face?" The bartender replies "hey! I was supposed to say that!"

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Did you hear the one about the guy who couldnt find his shoes? No? ok ill talk to someone who will get the reference

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what do you call a chicken thats little? a chicken. I lied about the little part

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what happens when you try to believe it's not butter? 34 Indonesian kids lose their job.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

I read a haiku. It was honestly quite good. That's basically it.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

My grandma has this joke where she says "knock knock." I say "who's there?" She says "I can't remember" and starts to cry

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: Why did the purple cantalope eat the curtains at midnight? A: Sassafrass.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did Hitler say to the Jewish boy? Nothing, Hitler died many years ago...

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the plane crash? Because a loaf of bread was the pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the gay man buy a prius? because it is a very fuel efficient car and will save him a lot of money of gas

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How do u turn on a lamp? Flip the switch

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A bar walks into a man... The man begins screaming uncontrollably as the corner of the building is inserted into his anus. Brick by brick, the bar forces its way inside the man's ass, as blood begins dripping down his legs. The man knows damn well it is impossible for such a large building to be contained inside him, but he grits his teeth and forces his ass open wider. His ribs break, his lungs collapse, and his now lifeless body is stretched into the shape of the bar. The bar is almost entirely consumed before the man's skin gives way to the bulging pressure...with an explosion of blood & organs, the shredded remains of the man are slung-shot around the lot where the bar formerly stood. The bar, now soaked in a mixture of blood & organ fluid, reflects upon the failure of its experiment. For the next attempt, a man of far greater fortitude must be used, so that his body does not burst so easily. Only then will it achieve its dream of becoming the first bar to walk into a man.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Josh Moran sticks CD's up his dick to see how fun it is to give a boy anal.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Roses are red, Violets are blue, This poem doesnt rhyme And your entire family died trying to fly to your house for Christmas. They crashed into a orpanage for death children. There were no survivors.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

"i once had a rabbit named socks.he was a funny little fellow until one day he got over excited and...well..." "did he...i mean..you know..did he...?" "what?lose a claw,throw up, sit in a pan of warm water until he calmed down?" "yeah! :)" "yes...but then he died."

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the asian kid do before he got a blood test? He studied.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was a turkey, idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

why was the boy sad? there was a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How do you make a baby fit in a bottle? Blender.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

roses are red violets are red i smell my wife nows shes dead

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why don't flowers bite you when you pick them? Cuz they don't have a brain.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops