A jew walked out of a bar then goes to the other bar across the street then walks out from the back door to go to another bar The Actions of this jew tells us that there are only 3 bars in the zone and one pet shop

Roses are red Violets are blue Hop in the van or I will rape you

Why did the cook throw up at McDonalds? Because his pay check was made out to the Ronald McDonald Foundation.

What did the librarian say at the heavy metal concert? Shhhhh

A catholic priest and Jerry Sandusky walk out of an elementary school.

Why did the boy have to ride the bus? Because both his parents died.

1,2,3,4,5..what comes next? yeah you should know how to count

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf or bread. why did the plane fall apart in mid air? The engineer was a loaf of bread Why didn't the plane take off? because it was delayed.

Why did the kid cross the road? To show his friends that he had guts. And man, did he have guts.

What starts with F and ends with U-C-K? Firetruck

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was Hellen Keller.

Women's rights

Why did Suzie's friend put rubbish in her mouth? Because Suzie is a rubbish bin.

What do you get when you see a black man writing? A man devoted to getting a education.

What do mario and luigi have in common They are both plumbers

A Higgs Boson walks into a church, and the priest says, "We don't allow Higgs Boson's in here," and the Higgs Boson says, "But I thought Christianity promised acceptance to everyone who believes."

Q: why didn't the asian boy ask for a calculator? A: you don't need calculators to make shoes

Why DIDN'T the chicken cross the road? Because it got hit by a bus

Why did anna stop wanting to build a snowman? Beacuse she died of cancer.

What is pink and smells like tuna? Salmon

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap ...in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations])That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

What do you call it one an Arab and a Jew get married? Love.

what has two legs, and is red? half a cat.

What happened when the boy stood up? He had all his limbs hacked off and soon after died.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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