How are grapes and squirrels similar? They're both purple. Except for the squirrel.

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What do you call a kid with one leg and an eye patch? Names

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Well, its allright then, just tired that is all, leave it be, I mean what if your wife sees it? What will she think?

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Dog Dog wh- wait how did you knock? *mindblown*

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patient: Doctor, doctor, i think i'm a lemon. Doctor: racial segregation and presidency is my middle name.

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Q. Why did Jimmy fall off his bike? A. Because he had alzheimer's and couldn't remember how to ride a bike.

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Whats the difference between platinum blondes? Absolutley nothing they all look exactly the same.

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what did the little girl with no legs and no arms get for christmas? Cancer

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Hey I just meet you. And this is crazy, but im a Zombie. And you looks tasty!

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Why was the little girl sad? She had a grown man sexually assault her.

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There were three soap salesmen in a bar. They were comparing how good they were at selling their wares. "I'm so good that I sell 60% of my soap bars each day," says the first salesman, bragging. The second one wasn't to be outdone. "I'm so good that I sell 80% of my soap bars," he declared. The last salesmen, who, up to the moment had been relatively quiet, suddenly said in a calm and collected manner, "Oh that's nothing. I'm so good that I sell all of my soap bars each day."

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There is two guys named tard and retard on a boat in shallow water. they both fall off. Who gets back up onto the boat? - Obviously Tard because ur dealing with a retard here.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And so are you But the roses have wiltered The violets are dead The sugar bowl is empty And so is your head

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hows your wife she died 7 years ago really mine too

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whats worse then being married to your dog eating your dog out

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knock knock. who's there? your neighbor. o hi come one in!

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What's worse than losing your job? Getting repeatedly hit in the face with a brick after getting fired from your job.

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sandwich. roller coaster. brain sprout. cholera, meander. time. rivet.porcupine. mayonaise. frying. x-ray forever.

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Two men enter a room. Two men and a baby leave the room...

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What is worse than finding an apple in you worm? Biting into an apple and finding 2 worms

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Why did the blonde turn down prostitution? She knows it is illegal and has better moral values than that.

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why is ginger kid so sad? Because his all family was killed

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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How do you upset Muslims? Kill their leader. Whoops, already did.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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