Water is blue. Fire is red. Come on let me show you what happen in the bed.

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whats long hard and full of seamen? a submarine.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey

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Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger. They had left the keys inside and no-one was around to help.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? (knocker runs for life).

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was chasing the chicken

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Stephen Hawking is so paranoid, always looking over his shoulder.

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What wuld u do for a klondike bar? Nothing taste like shit.

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What brown and squishy? um um um um melted kit-kats

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What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill.

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How did the Mexican get across the boarder? He applied for a student visa. He was a promising young scholar who had no trouble being accepted to a prestigious college.

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Q: What has no color, no shape, no size, and was born in your mind? A: The thought you just had about this anti-joke.

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Q: Whats horny and likes your leg? A: My dog.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Why? Because she has no arms. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sally

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Jesus Christ

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What is the difference between a ginger and a pile of bricks? nothing. nothing at all.

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he was eaten alive!!!

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What do you call a newborn son? The proudest moment of your life. What do you call a newborn daughter? A disappointment.

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What is black and blue and red all over? A woman that just learned a valuable lesson.

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What do the Africans have for breakfast? Nothing.

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I'm a burrito... With a big shirt.

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what would happen if every overweight person in america jumped at the same time? they would all get a little exercise.

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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