bite me

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Knock Knock Who's there? You You Who? Yes? Can I help you madam?

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Not only did 7 have that intimidating look to him, but 6 had recently found out that he was a well known mob boss who also went by the name of Lucky Seven. he was in charge of a gang called The Prime Numbers. They had been terrorizing 6's city for sometime now, whether it was stealing, mugging, or even killing or vandalism. 6 sure had a lot to fear, but he knew things might turn out well, as 6 had a great ability to try his best and do what he believed in: Justice

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A duck walks into a bar. The duck walks over to the bartender and orders a beer. "put it on my bill." he says. The bartender angrily grabs the duck and kicks him out of the bar, because the duck has done this many times, but has never once paid his bill to the bar. The duck is an alcoholic and is slowly ruining his relationship with his family.

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A man name Bill works 12 hours a day at a warehouse, almost everyday a week. It is a hard job but Bill does it to support his beautiful wife of many years. Bill thinks the long hard days are worth every moment he gets to spend with her. One night, after a hard day, he comes home to find another man in bed with his wife. Bill begins to sob and yell "I work 12 hours a day at a warehouse....." His wife yells back. "We already read this part, get to the punchline".

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There once was a man from Peru, Who dreamed he was eating his shoe, When he woke up one night he discovered with fright, That the friendly old neighbor from next door had broken into his house with a chain saw in an alcohol-induced murder attempt.

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whats the difference between marmalade and jam? you cant marmalade ur cock up a girls arse

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Why did Hitler commit suicide? Because he was completely depressed and overwhelmed because of the fact that he had lost World War II.

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What's better than "Friday" by Rebecca Black? Hitler's kill/death ratio

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what do u call a hairy cow? Harry

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what did the blind, deaf, paraplegic child get for christmas? other than cancer, nothing.

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whats worse than ur granny dying? uhhh...actually theres nothing is worse

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How did little Tommy die? i pushed him into the deep end of the pool

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What do you call a middle-aged Polish man on Skype? A lonely man.

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Q: What happens when you throw a glowing purple rock into a bright green stream? A: It makes a splash

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Asked by the court barber how he wanted his hair cut, the king replied: ‘In silence.

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An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

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What do you call a popular rap and hip-hop artist? Tunde

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Clearly the only answer is because he's blind

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What do you say to the man break dancing?? You don't, call an ambulance he is having an epileptic fit.

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yo momma is so fat that she contributes to americas obesity problem

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what did the woman say when the guy told her he liked her christmas tree? thank you.

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What happened when the boy got sad He fell in a woodchipper

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Why did Samuel drive his car into a tree? Because the tree was being a total jerk, blocking the road.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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