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So i was writing a letter to my girlfriend on valentines day right ? So this is how it goes . " hey lisa happy volentines day!" my black friend walks up to me and says" its a mightyfine day out! " The moral of the story is... Tomatoes can't fly planes

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How do you confuse your algebra teacher? Tell her to prove that she exists.

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KNOCK KNOCK WHOSE THERE? AVOCADO AVOCADO WHO AVOCADO COLD THAT'S A RETARD JOKE HAHAHAHAHA GOOD 1

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To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

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what does wtf stand for? what? i was asking you!

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I just wrote three jokes on antijoke.com ... nope, make that four.

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What did your mom get for christmas ? A stairstepper.

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Why didn't the octopus have any friends? Because they are antisocial creatures by nature. -Louis

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what do you call the breaching of the anal cavity with a penis? butt sex

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Whats fluffy, multicolored, and dances like a disco santaclaus? i don't know.

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What is E.T. short For? So he can fit on ship

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Q: what's red and covers an elementary school wall? A: a red crayon

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Jack: Hey, you know what sucks? Jill: Vacuums Jack: Hey, you know what sucks in a metaphorical sense? Jill: Black holes Jack: Hey, you know what just isn't cool? Jill: Lava?

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Roses are red Violes are blue I am hot How bout you?

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what better than getting an F on a test? getting an A on a test.

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What do you call a guy with a rainbow tuxedo on? A classy man that is very well dressed

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Three blokes walk into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability

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What's worse than falling in the mud whilst wearing a suit? Burying your parents.

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Q.How do you get a dog to meow ? A. Put the dog in the freezer overnight . . Get a chainsaw and run it along his back in the morning . " Meowrrrr..."

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Why did the black basketball team beat the white basketball team? They practiced more

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Q:What do you call a mexican witha clean record? A: Impossible

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What do you call a green dog? A green dog.

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I accidentally solicited a prostitute today. I was driving in an iffy neighborhood and saw a woman on the sidewalk, so I stopped to ask if she could give me directions. She must have misheard me.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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