In Soviet Russia, you drive the car, fill it up with gas, and park it. Just like in America.

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What did the horse say to the other horse? Nothing, they're both horses

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Whats white and goes up? a confused snowflake

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How do you get a drugged man, a giant sombrero, and a guitar into a Chuck-E-Cheese? You take multiple trips.

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Knock Knock Jehovah's witnesses!

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Who in Tyrone's black family gave him presents on christmas? Not his dad.

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What's gay black & Jewish? The Ku Klux Klan

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What's invisible? A lot of stuff.

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yo mama's so fat, that he doctors are slightly worried that she may be suffering from type 2 diabetes.

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when chuck norris does a pushup, he is tearing the muscles in his biceps, deltoids, core, and triceps in order to make them stronger.

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What you call it when 8 goes over 4? An improper fraction.

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What is the opposite of a joke ? Racism

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Well it all started when 7 did something horrible to 8 and 9. Always being used for various things and never getting credit, 7 finally snapped one day at the office. He went home for lunch, which was uncharacteristic for him. He came back with a large duffle bag and a trench coat on. He walked into the the middle of the office and opened the bag and trench coat. The events that followed are now known as the office slaughtering of 1992. 7 ended up gutting 8 alive and eating its intestines. 9 was forced to watch then inch by inch was cut up. His heart was ripped out and shown to him before he died. The body was then thrown into acid, and 7 hung himself with piano wire, but lived. 7 also has herpes and 6 doesnt want anything to do with that shit.

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Q:Whats yellow and white and sits at the bottom of a pool? A: A baby with slashed floaties Q:Whats red and gory and sits at the top of a pool? A: Floaties with a slahed baby

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Why did the Jews go into the shower? Because they had just finish a basketball game and they needed to freshen up.

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What's sad about a girl getting hit in the face with a shovel? The shovel got dented..

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So there is the standard english class with groups of different people. You got the nerds, lads, violent ones etc. Now the kids are doing a standard pop quiz. The nerd is next to the violent kid. The violent kid asks the teacher if he can go to the toilet. Everyone is nervous as it was based from last year's work which they haven't studied for. He then stabs the nerd in the neck multiple times and finishes his test.

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What did the homeless man buy with a dollar? Nothing. He didn't have a dollar.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Poop. Poop who? HAHAHAHAHAHA you said poopoo

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I'm not hungry, so when my mon offered me a pear I said to her "No thanks, I'm not hungry". 

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2 biggest lies I have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service and That baby dont look like me

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Why did Sarah fall of the swing... She had no arms. Knock knock, who's there... Not Sarah. Face Face, who's there... Probably Sarah.

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Why is the dog in the driver seat? Why is there birds making you filet mignon? Why is your toe blue? I don't know the answer. Go talk to your doctor

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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