Things i like to do when im bored; chase after ostriches take major dumps masturbate give myself major erections EJ

yo mammas so fat when she runs the world spins faster

Q: what did one guy say to another guy? A: I don't know!

What did farmer brown say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

- why did the chicken cross the road? why? - to get to your house. - knock knock. who's there? - the chicken.

Whats worse than Lindsey Lohans vagina? Nothing.

Knock Knock. who's there? James. well use the doorbell.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. I cut off his leg.

have you seen stevie wonder's harmonica? neither has he.

whats worse than a baby in a dumpster? A baby in ten dumpsters.

What's long, hard, and in my pants? The SAT's... I lied about it being in my pants.

Fox News

Q. Which famous celebrity has had the most children over the last 10 years? A. Michael Jackson

Why was the man walking down the street late at night? Because he's homeless and has nowhere to stay.

a. get me a drink b. a would but but i got no arms

How many children does it take to kill a homocidal killer? None. Children should not attempt such a dangerous task.

How do you offend a black person? Call him a nigger.

What's 1+5 2+4 3+3 4+2 5+1 Whats 6+1 If you said 6 you're stupid.

roses are red, violets are blue, get on your knees ho, and stick to me like glue.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor.

a man walks into a bar, he tells the bartender "im not a part of this SYSTEM"

What happened when the president cut the hedge That is a highly improbable solution because he would probably have a body guard do it.

What did the orphan do on Mother's Day? He went to the cemetery

Q: Why did the kid drop his icecream cone? A: Because he couldn't hold it he lost his arms in a car accident.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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