Why is Short Circuit the best movie ever made? Because it tastes like lemons

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what do u call a newspaper boy on brake? your uncle because hes broke and struggling with income.

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Whats 9 plus 10? 19

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to change the bulb, one to suck my dick!

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CAOIMHIN JUST BE QUITE

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Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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What's the difference between a Boy Scout and a Jew? One comes back from camp.

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There is a horse sitting at a bar, and the bartender says MOTHER OF GOD!! What is this horse doing in here?!

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How did the little boy die? A speeding moving truck took a sharp turn, the locks on the doors broke open and a huge office desk flew out and crushed the boy.

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What was Helen Keller's favourite colour? None, due her disability she was unable to see colours...

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A bear walks into a bar. The bear is then shot by the bartender with the shotgun kept under the counter.

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What did the apple say to the carrot? Nothing, apples don't talk

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What do you call a guy with a rainbow tuxedo on? A classy man that is very well dressed

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What do you call a man with a Club approaching a Seal Very Strong considering he can hold a building

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Sigh, everybody in the world hates me :( Moral: Seven billion people? Realy?

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Why didn't the boy go to the bathroom? His mother was taking a well deserved bath.

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why did bob eat the cookie? because he was hungry

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I wonder what mute people say to themselves. :/

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A muslim walks onto a plane. He goes to 13C as that is his seat designated on his ticket.

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Everyone believes in something. If you believe "you'll have another drink," you may be an alcoholic.

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Why did Hitler kill himslef? He saw his gas bills.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse being a horse and doesnt understand english is confused and scared by its surroundings it gallops away knocking over a few tables.

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My father stole my mothers heart, he's in jail for murder

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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