What has four legs in the morning, two legs at noon, and three legs at night? An experimental animal mutilated then exposed to radiation.

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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GOODBYE

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Why can't black people swim? Because there are sharks in the lake.

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My neighbours found out this morning that I'm a serial killer. Knock knock [L]

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If you woke up in the morning feeling like P Diddy, get tested. Immediately.

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Why did the flight attendant look scared every time every time she saw a muslim get on the airplane? Because her family got murdered in front of her before she came to work

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What do you call a guy with a puppy, candy, and a windowless white van? You're next baby sitter.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the baby monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the dead monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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A woman gets into the front seat of a car and starts driving.

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Why did little Tommy eat an apple? Because he was on a diet

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How was my day, you ask? First of all, I don't own a day. And second of all, it hasn't ended.

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A man walks into a bar. It leads to a fight that is enjoyable to watch.

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What did god say to Jesus. "Dude, she's not a virgin"

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The Walmart Scooterwhale (Terracetus obesitus) is the only member of the cetacean family to live in a terrestrial environment. Commonly found in large-scale grocery stores all across North America, it subsists mostly on fattening junk food, microwave popcorn, and beer.

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Why did? Yes

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Q: Why did Steve fall out of the tree A: He was raking the leaves

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Knock knock Who's there? Overused punchline Overused punchline who? The Holocaust.

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whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Gingers

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When the going gets tough... Commit suicide.

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What's black and white and red all over and can't turn around in an elevator? A nun with a spear through her back

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What did the teacher say to the other teacher? We are both teachers. -Del Primm

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How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb Wanna go ride bikes?

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Roses are red Violets are blue Last but not least, Bananas are yellow.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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