Roses are red, Violets are red, OH SHIT MY GARDENS ON FIRE

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Wanna hear a really dirty joke the boy fell in the mud

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What's brown and sticky? ...A stick.

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what's the easiest way to tell time? a clock

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Why did the fireman wear red suspenders? He'd lost so much weight, due to AIDS.

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What brown and sticky? A sticky turd

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What's worse than finding a hair in lasagna? An earthworm crawling into your ear and feeding on your intestines.

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I met a hot girl in the Tampon aisle and i asked if she wanted to hang out in 5-7 days

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Why did the blind boy cross the road? Why? The world may never know. He was hit by a bus

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Black, I dont know if you are kidding around or something, but I cant reach you on the phone pal, I am really sorry about the Valium, it was like only 10 milligrams pal, I mean please man, it was a joke, and Ill break up with Line anyways, I mean Alex and Petter are sorry too okay? Just take the phone, ill be there soon, I mean come on, you are the most cruel person I know, lets talk about it

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Why'd the aborted fetus cross the road? 9/11

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Your momma's so fat she has a hard time finding clothes to fit

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Why was the lady afraid of rocks? Because her husband was stoned.

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What has three legs, 6 notches, 8 wheels, is beige, has cancer, and is severely burnt? I don't know.

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A sad horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" the horse answers "My wife was just diagnosed with terminal cancer."

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a girl had just gotten dumped by her boyfriend over a text message. she got very sad and became suicidal

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An Irishman walks into a bar he asks for directions, and leaves.

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What do you call a guy who stabs cereal? A cereal killer.

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Why was the black family eating KFC? Because KFC tastes very nice and there was a discount on the family bucket.

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Why did Sally fall off her swing? -she had no arms knock knock whos there not Sally

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Ben." Ben who?" "Ben Dover!" "Ben,it's been 7 years. I already moved on and have a new husband and family. Stop coming here or I'm calling the police."

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What's the difference between Rick Perry and a toaster? One is a republican presidential candidate, while the other is an electrical appliance.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was suicidal.

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Why did the astronaut die in space? Just kidding there was no astronaut. It was a cucumber

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops