What is the opposite of Obama? Mitt Romney because he his white and a republican so all is good with him.

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Did you hear about the man with the bicycle? He was 2 tired.

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What's the difference between a baby and a tea bag? Tea bags don't scream when I dip them in boiling water

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

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What is a good remedy for the common cold? A piping hot bowl of chicken-noodle soup.

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How was the copper wire invented? 2 Jews pulling on the same penny!

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Q: How many dead babies does it take to fill a mixing bowl? A: There is an infinite amount of answers to this question depending on the sizes and shapes or the dead babies, so lets assume that an average would probably be about 4 babies that dies just as the left the mother.

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My dog has no dictionary. How does he spell terrible?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why would the chicken cross a road

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it all began in 1807 when a 7 foot rooster gave birth to a chicken on the sidewalk while purchasing ice cream. Scientists have been intrigued so they went into study with it and won the Nobel prize. This somehow persuaded them to lure the chicken over to the other side by using a lollipop. They threw the lollipop as the chicken crossed the road, hit it in the eye, the chicken spazzed out, jumped in front of a car, teleported to London, and is now a gynecologist.

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How do you drown a blonde? Weigh her down and throw her into a body of water.

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three peanuts where walking down a dark alley, one was asalted

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My three children are three big mistakes.

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What do you call a deer with only one leg? A one legged deer. What do you call a deer with one leg, one eye and lives in Rome? Still a one legged deer.

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Why do aliens listen to relaxing music while they have sex? They like to cum in peace. \m/

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A black and a white man walk into a grocery store the black man buys fried chicken and the white man buys vegtables. The men both have different opions and enjoy different food groups.

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What the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson play with my brother anymore? Because he's dead.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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My dad weights 350 lbs. He decided to switch to diet soda.

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Whos better at Hide and go Seek, Anne Frank or Osama Bin Laden? -Why dont you tell me, they're both dead !

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Wanna hear a joke? Women's Basketball

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Hello.

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what did the maker of anti jokes website say while reading some of the jokes on here? these people r idiots. and he lived happily ever after. then died. Good one

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops