What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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A: What dose God listen to? B: Slayer. A: Trick Question, God=Slayer

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There once was a girl with only one buttcheek. She couldn't go poop. She died.

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Dwarf Shortage

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A guy wanted to write a joke. He didn't.

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Why did the blond cross the road? She needed to get to the shop as she'd run out of milk.

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why did the couple sell their house? their children were all raped and then murdered in it and they cant stand the memories

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What did the little boy want to be when he grew up? A cone

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Stephen Hawking is so paranoid, always looking over his shoulder.

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Hey, you why you say poo poo nae nae watch me whip, and do the dougie, and then happy halloween? Potato Salad

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Q: Whats the best part of a bald pussy? A: After you put the diaper back on you perv!

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Why did the old man go to the retirement home? The 75 year old man had a 45 year career in pluming and he thought it was a good time to retire after saving enough money to be happy and he could spend the rest of his life with his wife. The retirement home was also not that far away from his grandchildren so he liked the location and the home was also very clean and the workers seemed very nice. But this was just a visit to see if he liked it, he may live there soon.

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In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

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Q:Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, an honest lawyer and an old drunk are walking down the street together when they simultaneously spot a hundred dollar bill. Who gets it? A:The old drunk, of course; the other three are mythological creatures.

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So there is a muslum, then he flew a plane into a building and died a sudden death. But he was wearing a helmet.

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Why did the bus drop his icecream? He was hit by a boy

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Knock knock. Whos there Time to get a watch

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Why couldn't the cat drink it's milk? Because it didn't have a face.

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What's the hardest part about watching a 2 year old get hit by a bus? Trying not to laugh.

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A black guy, a Mexican, an Arab and a white guy walk into a room and embrace cultural diversity.

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What is a 3 legged dog? It's still a dog! Sheesh

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A man walks into a bar with a frown on his face His dog just died

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Why didn't the jew spend his paycheck? He wanted to save money for the future

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How come Asian's are so clever? Their baby food is blended textbook paste.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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