Why shouldn't you try to pick up a live scorpion with your teeth? Because it could easily sting your face, or mouth.

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What's the difference between an apple and a banana? One's an apple.

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What rhymes with milk...milf

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Q: Whats the difference between a trash can full of dead babies, and a porch? A: A porch isnt in my garage.

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A fish walked into a bar. Actually it didn't, since fish can't walk.

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A man walks into a bar. After recovering, he sues the bar for it's irregular glass doors.

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why shouldnt you throw a rock at a black person on a bike? Its probably your bike.

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"My CiOCK is bigger!" "No! My CiOCK is bigger!": Two gamec.ock owners arguing over who has a bigger DiICK.

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Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

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Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earrings? A: Those that wear them think that said earrings positively accentuate their physical appearance.

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What do Selena and Justin, Kate and William, and Barack and Michelle all have in common? Nothing.

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What did the guy say to the other guy? Hello.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares...he didn't make it anyways..

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What does a chicken get for Christmas? A trip to the processing plant.

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What's special about an Irish Parachute ? It's made in Ireland.

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What does a Somalian want for Christmas? Nothing hes Sunni Muslim and does not celebrate Christmas

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Joe has 30 candy bars and eats 25. What does john have now? DIABETIES. Joe has diabeties. Please comment!!!!!!!

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Q: What did hitler say to his generals? a: In a circumstance as the one we have found ourselves in. Eliminating our most threatening of enemies would be very logical. Unless they were of the superior race therefore, it may be frowned apon by our low ranked comrades. Causing another assasionation attempt on myself. So in conclusion I believe eliminating a rich and intelligent race far more superior than our own, would be the best way to go. So collect the Jews of Warsaw and we might have a chance.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because this chicken had a mental disability and saw on the news that there was a hospital on the other side of the road that could treat his illness and possibly save his life, allowing him to fulfill his life-long dream of retirement. But knowing that chickens do not possess the brain power capable of understanding the situation that this chicken was in, it had probably gotten lost and just wandered off.

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This one time at Concentration camp.... My friends all died cause they were chosem in the Selection

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I love this website, oh shit *Car* Dead*

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Why did hundreds ofnpeople die in a plane crash? Because the pilot was a salad.

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roses are red violets are blue i'm chinese and i don't know a joke pickle.

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Why couldn't John go to the store for his mother? He had no legs...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops