A Mexican, a Chinese man, and a cowboy are on a plane. The plane is crashing, and they need to get rid of anything to make the plane lighter so thet can glide to safety. The cowboy throws out all of his boots and says we have to many of these. Then the Mexican throws out all of his taco shells and says we have to many of these. Then the Chinese man throws out the Mexican and says we have to many of these.(:

thumb_up thumb_down +2

My trip to Italia: Italian most: WELCOME TO ITAAAAAAALIA! YOU WANT THE PIZZA YES? Me asking my then Italian girlfriend: Are all Italians so loud? Then girlfriend: Yeah kinda... Her brother overhearing us: WHO! GAVE! YOU THE BALLS! TO JUDGE US! Me: Uh I am just surprised at... Her bro: I SAID WHO GAVE YOU THE BALLS... DONT LOOK AT ME! Me: *looking down at the ground somewhat ashamed* bro: LOOK AT ME WHEN I SPEAK TO YOU! NO! DONT LOOK AT ME! I will let you go for this time yes? Next time I will take you outside and beat you up okay? LOOK AT ME WHEN I SPEAK TO YOU! AND DO NOT LOOK AT ME! Conclusion: Wow you Italians are bad ass... I mean hell this is was a real life experience of mine, I was just a teen back then but I got a headache and threw up ending up in bed later... Fact: I am nearly two meters but walk with a hunch, the guy was half my size but still broke me down, wow Italians are bad ass...

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry man passes, takes a look at the muffins lifts his shoulders and walks away. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin was poisoned.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what happened to the kid who opened the goldfish? he got eaten by a cixelsyd dinosaur

thumb_up thumb_down +2

welcome to anti joke.com. you were expecting an anti joke wernt you.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's the difference between a grape and a duck? They're both purple, apart from the duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Whats funnier than a dead baby? Pretty much anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do get a cat to like you? Give it lots of love and attention

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Jacob Mckeand licks his gooch everynight. Some nights he even covers it in maple syrup. 'mmmmm' he thinks to himself as he licks his 7 inch gooch up and down.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you punish Hellen Keller Move the furniture around

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just two, the mystery is how mice can get inside a lightbulb.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why did the girl ask for food? because she was hungry and hadnt eaten in days.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Whats worse the losing your 3 kids, your lovely beautiful wife, and your trusty dog, all your belongings and in a house fire while you're at work? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +2

your mother is so fat that she probably watches her calorie intake every day

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what smells like red paint, looks like red paint and is called red paint? A pear, i lied about everything i just said

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Identical jokes get different amounts of votes

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock. Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Are you mentally handicapped? Bananas are fruit.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What does a black kid get for Christmas? Your bike

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why was little Jimmy sad? Because his mum died.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the Dildo say to the banana? Nothing, unless you're high on acid.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what's the square root of pi? nothing. why would you add roots to pie, how gross.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

hi

thumb_up thumb_down +2

So I'm blowing this guy and he starts rubbing his finger through my hair... So I started thinking, what a fag.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops