what did the cat say to the potato? meow

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

Want to hear a clean joke? Soap.

Why was the baby crying? He had just witnessed his parent gets brutally murdered.

Why was the blackman fired from his job? Beacuse he was late too many times which was unacceptable.

Llega San Pedro le dice a dios y se va.

what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

Q: What happened to the fat man on the roller coaster A: The roller coaster went slightly faster due to the laws of gravity

What`s that CREAM that comes out of you when your mom puts a WHIP on you with a switch? WHIP CREAM!

Great ideas: Go to your facebook account and type in: Man, I am gonna suicide right now, bye! Moral: Now if you do it as well, nah, dont do it, seriously... Just type it!

A jew walked out of a bar then goes to the other bar across the street then walks out from the back door to go to another bar The Actions of this jew tells us that there are only 3 bars in the zone and one pet shop

What do a priest, a rabbi, and an asian have in common? They all don't know each other.

what's the difference between a pound of liver and vomit? £3.24

What did the boy with no legs get for his birthday? A bike

How do you make a dog say meow? Freeze it and put it through a woodchipper. (MEROWRRRR)

A man walks into a bar. Something funny happens.

What did the lawyer say to the doctor? - I am a lawyer and you're a doctor.

How many Women's Rights activists does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They can't change anything.

Three black men walk into a gas station and don't steal anything.

See you later... Just joke I'm blind

If life gives you lemons, You throw them as hard as you can at the nearest stranger. If life gives you melons, You're probably dyslexic.

A man takes his girlfriend ice skating on a lake. As they are ice skating she says "we should go back home and fu..." At this point they fall through a thin spot on the ice and they both drown in the lake. Fish ate their dead bodies

Why did the black man grab and tie up the white woman? Because the white woman was a serial killer who has been on the FBI's most wanted list for killing children.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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