what did the pumpkin muffin say to the blueberry muffin? nothing, because muffins can't talk.

what did the rapist say to the girl? get in the van

Friends are just like trees. They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

How do you get rid of black people in your back yard? Politely ask them to leave.

An English man, Irish man and a Scotsman walk into a bar. And have a wonderful evening of multicultural entertainment and fun together.

Why shouldn't you hit a black guy on a bike? Because you would get charged with vehicular manslaughter and have the NAACP all up in your ass.

Q:Why did the dwarf shout abuse at the bus driver? A: He had anger issues, and the price of the ticket was quite unreasonable.

knock knock who's there? hope

Roses are Red Violets are Blue I'm really drunk so show me your tits.

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

dalas rof rezilitref taerg a si citsalp. Read it from right to left.

How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb? Obviously more than six because my bass meant is still dark.

Why did Lucy drop her ice-cream ? Because she got hit by a bus. Knock knock. Who is there ? NOT LUCY !

Every first letter of an innappropriate body part is how it actually looks like: Penis, Vagina, Boobs

Last week, one of my ex girlfriends called me. She said she had to tell me some bad news. "I don't know how to tell you this but I have AIDS. I really didn't know how to reply to that so I said the only thing I could say. "Yeah, I know."

What do you call a middle-aged Polish man on Skype? A lonely man.

Grease is the word that you heard it's got groove it's got meaning

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Too many because they are babies and they don't have the motor skills to properly use a paintbrush.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

What did the fat man order at McDonalds? Nothing, he was on a diet

what sucks blows and gets laid in the closet. YOUR MOM VACUMING

1: Hey whats better than bacon? 2: What? 1: Nothing. Nothing is better than bacon.

what did the apple say to the orange ? nothing, apples are a fruit and do not have any organs which allow it to be able to talk.

Why did the math student refuse to do his geometry homework? Straight lines do not exist, so there is no real world application to any geometric shape.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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