Twitter: @TotalJokes: "So it's been 11 years since the planes hit the world trade centre, time really does fly by."

why did the person cross the road? to catch the chicken

What do you call a man with no arms and legs laying at your doorstep? Matt.

What is a black, yellow like liquid that contains carbon dioxide, usually kept in a can, and is not coke? Pepsi.

NASA sent a probe to Uranus and wondered why people were laughing.

when choosing a bedtime story.... jack the rippers life stories is not a good idea... ........................................................................

Old Macdonald had dyslexia IE IE O

Why was the mohel touching the little boy's penis? Because that's his job!

2 sheeps are outside having a great time One sheep walks up to the other sheep and says: hello The other sheep says: hello Now what I want to know: what ally do you get your drugs from

A person affected by Alzheimer's is asked a knock knock question- Knock Knock Who's there? Boo Wait what are we doing again?

Your mom is so fat her daily calorie intake is dangerously above the recommended 2000 per day.

you go to cvs and theres a robber trying to shoot everyone and the cashier says do you have a rewards card

There is a Asian a black guy and a white guy the black guy loves apples the white guy loves pears and the Asian loves Macaroni the white guy gets a apple the black guy gets a pear and the Asian has no lunch so the black guy kills the white guy for the apple and the Asian kills the black guy because he is hungry

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car. -Tag

what did one apple say to another apple nothing apples cant talk

A Muslim walks into a bar He immediatley turns around and leaves as his religious beliefs forbid consumption of alcoholic beverages.

What do tigers dream of when they take a tiger snooze? Mike Tyson

What did the black guy get for Christmas? (In 1938) A bruise from the Klu Klux Klan.

A man walks into a bar. He tricks a lady into smelling a rag doused with chlorophoam, and rapes her.

What do you call a chicken with the head of a shark? A genetic anomaly.

why did the girl fall of her bike She had no arms

Why did the girl fall of her bike? Because she got hit by a fridge!

Why did little Sammy die of boredom? The WNBA was on

i walked into a bar, the bar tender for some reason said get out. the bartender did not realise that i was the #1 criminal in america. but why would he, i was in cuba. ( i was seven at the time)

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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