Little boy: Daddy, daddy, I know what i want for Christmas! Dad: Oh really? and whats that? Little boy: I want a bicycle! Dad: Why my son? You are already on a wheelchair...

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Where do you find a dead hooker? where you left her.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had gotten out of its coop.

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was gonna write a really funny "anti-joke" about two dogs and some spagetti but decided instead to tell you about how hard my life is and how much i hate getting up in the morning and just keep you wondering about the spaggetti and the dogs while i kill myself and it all a sudden makes sense as the two dogs are eating my shattered brain that looks like spaggetti wich leaves me wondering , am i spelling spaggetti right?

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What did the kitty say when it's owner called him over? Nothing. It's owner killed him.

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When life gives you lemons, you probably just found lemons.

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I once shot an elephant in my pajamas. I suffer from a debilitating sleep disorder.

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Roses are red,Violets are blue, Who the hell are you,Get the hell away

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A cow and a whale are swimming in the sea when they both realize this is Vietnam and they were really chimps

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Well, it all depends on the size of the bathtub.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs that gets stepped on a lot? Mat.

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a man dyslexic into bar walks a

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How did the man want his hair cut? In silence.

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women drivers>asian drivers>asian women drivers

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Justing Bieber walks in a bar. Everyone shoots him.

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So a pirate walks into a bar. He sits down, and orders a drink. After giving the pirate a drink, the bartender looks down and notices that there is a steering wheel on the pirate's penis. "Sir, are you aware that there is a steering wheel on your penis?" The bartender asked. "Arrrrrrr, it's driving me crazy!" The pirate replied. "Well you should probably get that checked out soon," said the bartender, "It looks very uncomfortable and could be dangerous to your health...not to mention your penis is out in the open." "Yes, you are probably right," the pirate agreed. He proceeded to get a ride from a friend to the nearest hospital, for drinking and driving can be dangerous, and steering wheels on penises are not safe.

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An Asian girl is playing with a rubber band. She accidentally slings it into her eye, cries, and receives immediate attention from her mother.

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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go camping, and pitch their tent under the stars. During the night, Holmes wakes his companion and says: 'Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you deduce.' Watson says: 'Someboby stole our tent.' Holmes and Watson look at each other, shrug and go back to sleep. At least the thief kept their blankets.

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knock knock who's there? Jehovah's witness GOOD BYE!

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What did the mexican say to the black guy? He asked if he needed some drugs. Why? He was a pharmacist.

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why did the girl ask for food? because she was hungry and hadnt eaten in days.

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What's a fry cook's favorite day? Saturday. It's his day off.

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Q:Whats 2+2? A: 4

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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