A doctor tells a guy: "I have bad news. You have Alzheimer's, and you have cancer." Guy says, "Thank God I don't have cancer."

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Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

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Why did the piano explode? Beacause someone planted an explosive inside of it.

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Wanna hear something irrational? Pi

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Why couldn't Jimmy breathe? He had a knife in his throat!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Ok

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Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack has a crippling addiction to Cocaine which ultimately led to his divorce and the subsequent loss of custody of his children.

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What happened when the young child fell off of the swing? He broke open his head causing him to be sent to the hospital for 3 weeks.

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What did the man on the moon say? ...Im on the moon.

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What is the worse joke to tell a Orpahn Knock Knock Whos there not your parents

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Why did billy fall off his bike? Because billy was a loaf of bread.

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Why did the clown go to jail? He murdered a thirteen-year-old girl.

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Good friends are like snowflakes. They disappear when you pee on them.

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How did the clown crash his car? A horrible tornado chrashed through the town.

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Q: What do you call 10 babies at the bottom of the ocean? A: Dead

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How do you cut the sea in half? You can't. There are an odd amount of letters. You would have to jeopardize the "e", but then it would no longer be "sea".

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Three ethnic minorities walk into a bar, and each does something involving alcohol that confirms a negative stereotype about his subgroup.

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What's red and bad for your teeth A brick

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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Doctor: Why the long face? Elephant Man: That's not my face that's a tumor.

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The man was so nice It's too bad he couldn't hear the bus coming.

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- Knock, knock. -- How many dead babies does it take to cross the street and walk into a bar? - That's an odd question to ask to a visitor. -- Your mom.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was struck by a car and killed instantly by the impact.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops