There are three guys on an airplane, a Korean, a Mexican, and an American. The pilot comes on the speaker and syays,"The plane is to heavy, throw out the thing you have most in your country." The Korean throws out an AK-47 and says,"We have to many of these in our country." The Mexican throws out a taco and says,"We have to many of these in our country." The American throws out the Mexican and says,"We have to many of these in our country."

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Q:What did the turtle say to the jaguar? A: Well, a turtle and a jaguar live in totally different habitats, turtles live in water while jaguars live in grasslands, so it would be unlikely for them to cross paths and communicate. Turtles and jaguars are unable to speak and, if a jaguar were to talk to a turtle, the turtle would be unable to make out words because turtles can only pick up vibrations. And, they would have nothing to talk about.

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What's more epic than a man in a gorilla suit? A man i a gorilla suit with a banana.

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Why did the chicken cross the dairy farm? Sex.

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HAVE A GOOD DAY. DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO.

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An Indian, American and French man walk into the bar simultaneously. Unfortunately, they get stuck in the door.

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Once there was an egg by the name of Steve. His name was Steve the Egg.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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Did you know that... Billy had a heart attack, it was sad. Now you know!

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how do u make a snooker table laugh? TICKLE ITS BALLS HAHA

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how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit him with an ax

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Why did the audience walk out of the movie? Because it had just finished.

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Why were two black men fighting for a dollar that fell on the floor? Because they both lost their homes in the crashing market and have to care for their ill children that need money for medical expenses.

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What did the contestant say to the game show host? If I don't win I will arrange to kill your family.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I'm really drunk so show me your tits.

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Why is it good to date twenty eight year olds? Because there is twenty of them.

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What do you call a blue chair A black person

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Why doesn't Hitler drink whiskey? Because it makes him mean.

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Roses are red, violets are blue When I cut you, you bleed

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Why did the rooster cross the road? To go play with the other roosters.

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A man and a woman are having sex. The man finishes and says, "Oh, God, I hope you're on the pill." The girl says she isn't and begins to cry. Lacking a job or a stable life, the man leaves the woman. The woman has an abortion and suffers irreversible damage to her ovaries.

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There was once a little boy who started feeling sick. His mother gave him some soup. He died anyway.

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Two blonds walk into a building....they couldnt see it.

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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