Knock Knock. Who's There? I have cancer.

Question to make it sound like a racist joke? Politically correct answer that should not offend anyone.

I hear eating an apple a day keeps the other apples in check.

What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

What do you call a black man with no arms? Trustworthy.

How do you get a black guy out of a tree? You don't, he just jumps down.

what is red and smells like paint red paint

Why were two black men fighting for a dollar that fell on the floor? Because they both lost their homes in the crashing market and have to care for their ill children that need money for medical expenses.

Why did the little boy fall over. Because someone shot him in the face.

How do you get children to behave? Chop them up.

What do you call Madeline McCann at the bottom of the sea? Drowned Madeline McCann.

If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, what does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

What do you call a man who burns his country's flag on it's independence day? Unpatriotic

What do you do when your dish washer breaks? divorce her.

Why did Stephen hawking walk into A bar? He didn't. This situation is impossible considering the fact that he suffers from a horrible condition causing terrible muscular paralysis preventing him from walking.

Me: Knock Knock Mom: Who's there? Me: Jason Mom: Jason who Jason: HOW COULD YOU FORGET ME I CAN'T BELRIVE YOUR ALZHEIMER'S HAS GOTTEN THAT BAD! WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN TO ME BWAAA! *Jason sadly died short after from a bus hitting him*

How many dead babies can you fit in a trunk? 37.

Whats worse than a creep? ..... Paul sweeney!

Whats funny about a blonde, brunette and red-head stranded on an island? Nothing. They are in a very dangerous survival situation, which could prove to be fatal

How did the little boy fall over? He was tripped up by his alcoholic father.

I haven't been this tired since the last time I was tired

you can either take the test now or on monday. (hand movement)

What's white and sticky.... Jizz

I am the best i am the worst My wife was buried in hearse

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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