Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

Ask me about my wiener. How's your wiener? I don't have a wiener, I'm a woman.

He--Hey guys

What's the easiest way to get a cat out of a tree? Call the fire department and allow them to safely reach the cat and properly extract it from the tree while you watch from below.

What's worse than farting in front of your boyfriend? Farting on your boyfriends pillow and giving him pink eye.

What did the statue say to the other statue? stat-you?

how do you make a plumber cry?.... kill his family

A light bulb is very similar in shape to a pear. So, when you change a light bulb, don't replace it by a pear.

when life gives you lemons... squeeze the juice into your eyes.

What's the most confusing day in Mexico? Father's Day.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why would the chicken cross a road

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it all began in 1807 when a 7 foot rooster gave birth to a chicken on the sidewalk while purchasing ice cream. Scientists have been intrigued so they went into study with it and won the Nobel prize. This somehow persuaded them to lure the chicken over to the other side by using a lollipop. They threw the lollipop as the chicken crossed the road, hit it in the eye, the chicken spazzed out, jumped in front of a car, teleported to London, and is now a gynecologist.

Q: How many dead babies does it take to fill a mixing bowl? A: There is an infinite amount of answers to this question depending on the sizes and shapes or the dead babies, so lets assume that an average would probably be about 4 babies that dies just as the left the mother.

My dog has no dictionary. How does he spell terrible?

Did u hear about the jew that bought something not on sale? Neither did i.

How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

What is the difference between a Mexican and a bike? they both get hit by cars in shady neighborhoods, like Copiague, New York

Q: What did the floor say to the Christmas tree? A: Your balls are hanging.

Q:what do you get when you get when you cross a dog and a human A: a human-dog hybrid with AIDS

why did the chicken cross the road? becuase he wanted to walk and the road was the only available place to do so

A musician without any music walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Who do you think you are, a hobbit?" The musician without any music says,"yeah" and turns into a hobbit

What did one dinosaur say to the other? Nothing and if you think dinosaurs talk you might need to be diagnosed for having Schizophrenia. Invega is a subtle treatment.

Can Anti-Jokes censor curse-word tenses? Fuck Fucking Fucked Fucks

why did the mexican work for a lawn care service I don't know why don't you ask him

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...