"Merry Christmas, Mom! My gift to you is...ME!" "I brought you into this life you disrespectful brat!" He then proceeds to a cliff.

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Why did the blonde fail her drug test? She's actually never did drugs before but since she didn't show up for appointment, that counts as an automatic fail.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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What's blue and looks like water? Yes.

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What did the girl say to her ex? Fuck you.

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What do you call it when a multiple personality disorder person masturbates? Rape.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a child's swimming pool? 9 (Trust me, you won't be able to squeeze the tenth one in there.)

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Why did piglet look down the toilet for pooh? He had a horrible mental illness

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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Why does Hilter hate Jews? He's incapable of hating because he's dead.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7 7 eight 9

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you are as stupid as alec. lol neewb

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Why couldn't the girl eat her pizza? She had no face.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? The horse says my mom died from cancer

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Why didn't the lawyer submit the car accident he endured to his local courthouse? He was dying of internal brain damage from the shards of glass lodged in his brain from flying through the windshield.

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Roses are Red Your Face Has Turned Blue This Pillow I have Is Smothering You

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what's blue , and you can urinate on it ? a rim block.

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yo momma so ugly that yo your birth certifiicate is an apology from thew condem factory

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what happens when a hamster bites your arm? your arm bleeds

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What's worst then leaving a public toilet when you just took a shit and the toilet is now clogged Realising that the maid was waiting for you to get out to clean the toilet...

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Friends are a lot like trees I just thought you should know.

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People always say if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say Anthony at all. Mimes must be full of hate.

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Roses Are Red...Rolo's Are Round....Pull Down Your Pants And Let's Down!

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whats the difference between a phone and Helen Keller? you listen to the phone and you smash Helen Keller on the head with a spiked baseball bat

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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