What did Stephen Hawking say to the prostitute? A several garbled and mostly inaudible comment that she could not understand.

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Q: What did the Rabbi say to the butcher? A: "Do you have the time?"

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yo Mama so stupid a robber stole her t.v and she ran after him yelling, YOU FORGOT THE REMOTE!

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Q. What has 5 chins, 10 eyes, 10 feet, and 50 fingers? A. Five People.

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roses are red , violets are blue, lick my dick , or lick my dick

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Why did the girl go to Jupiter? To get more stupider

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why did the magician stop doing magic ? he got hit by a bus and died

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Knock Knock Who's there? (Pause) Who's there? Hello? Bloody kids

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To mutilate the body of a Jewish girl that lay on the other side.

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What did the commentor say when he saw the "waht's worse than finding a worm in your apple...the holocaust." joke? I am offended to your cruel referance to worms.

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what are you talking about. Nets are terrible. Lakers are going to be the best.

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Why did Prius driver go to jail? Because he ran over someone and then fled the scene of the crime (at 11 mph)

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A fat man orders a pizza. Then after eating it, he gets a eart attack due to his high cholesterol and lack of exercise

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Why cant i stand up? Cause i shat my pants

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What do u get when u lick chicken Answer- Your a retard if you did not figure it out it is obviously chicken taste DERP!

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Sometimes i like to paint myself red and then curl up into a ball and pretend i'm a tomato.

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Q:What's the difference between a lake? A: a tree, because motorcycles dont have doors... :) crf

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What's sad about a pile of dead people? They didn't have life insurance.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "why the long face?" The horse says "I just found out I have AIDS"

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How did the mexican cross the border? He went through border patroll, and then later became a legal citizen of North America

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There is a asian, mexican and a blonde boy at school. Every day they each get the same food for lunch. The asian always got noodles. The mexican a taco. the blonde boy got pb and j. They decide if they get this lunch again, they will jump off a cliff. The next day they get the same lunch and jump off a cliff. At their funeral the asian mom says " if i had known, i would have made her sushi." the mexican mom says " i would have made her a burrito." The blonde's dad say "hey don't look at me, he makes his own lunch."

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What did the ice cream man ask the little boy? Want some ice cream?

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How the hell do you know? What are you Nero? You are completely right! I was going to say I got no blue tie, but then I forgot you often call ribbons for ties... How? Should I be scared? I am not, no wonder you never felt human... I am shocked, I cant think straight I am confused and... Sorry Nero, Goodnight, if nothing else, you are no demon, but rather an angel, sweet dreams love. The solvemedia says the bible, this is freaky, my mind is numb.

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how do you confuse a blonde? ask if she wants a cake...then rape her

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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