Why didn't the scientist discover a cure for apathy? He simply lost interest in it.

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today in aa we were telling stories one of them was: that a girl put a wet cat (to dry it) in the oven

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So I was making this glass of milk right? So I get the milk out. And I get the soup out.. then I go...wait a minute...where'd the glass of soup come into this glass of situations? *smile+awkard pause because nobody will laugh at this=Success of this anti joke...try it*

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what is purple and smells like poop? very weird looking poop

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“DTF”? Says Will. “No” says Harper.

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Why did the bus driver tell the black man to get to the back of the bus? Because all the seats up front were full and its dangerous to stand in a moving vehicle

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-It ain't over till the fat lady sings -she just did -oh, I guess it's over then -k

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What starts with "F" and ends in "uck" Firetruck.

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Seriously, I am going to tell you, but you know, what would you have preferred that it was if you could choose, I am kinda insecure about these things, and people can read these messages so...

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what did the man say to the other man he bumped into? sorry. and they never saw eachother again

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Why did Kelly lose all interest in men? An aneurysm in her brain popped

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what do you call a white man who appears to be standing on water? a surfer

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting yours asshole clawed by a grizzly

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Roses are blue, Violets are red, I have to go to the bathroom now...

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Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

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Why did the black man go to jail? He stole some rice.

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What's Green And Has Wheels? Grass, I Was Just Kidding About The Wheels.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says "I forgot to store my nuts for winter now I am dead". Ha! It's funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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Knock Knock Whos there? Jason Oh, ok come in.

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one man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. when he was drinking the beer he choked and died

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a man checks his mypsace

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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What's big fat and ugly? A monster

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There are two jews in an oven. One says "It sure is hot in here" and the other says "AHH A TALKING JEW"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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