Seriously, I am going to tell you, but you know, what would you have preferred that it was if you could choose, I am kinda insecure about these things, and people can read these messages so...

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What was John Lennon's last hit? The pavement.

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What came first... the chicken or the egg? How am I supposed to know?

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Sharing means caring, Caring is socialism

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A man walks into a bar owned by horses. The bartender says, "Why the short face?"

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What is brown and sticky? A lot of things are brown and sticky

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Why does the rabbit go in the hole? because that's where it lives.

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How was my day, you ask? First of all, I don't own a day. And second of all, it hasn't ended.

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How many kids does it take to get a day off of school? ...26

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A man begged for forgiveness, for a sin commited Jesus forgave him, Jesus loves you

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what's wose than finding a holocaust in your anti-joke? the potential offspring of courtney love and al gore

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What do you call a dolphin mixed with a cheetah? I have no idea I was hoping you knew.

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If life hands you melons. Your probably dyslectic.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pansies are purple, Nothing rhymes with purple.

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why did the crops die? because a deranged clown sprayed them with liquid nitrogen.

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Why did the black man grab and tie up the white woman? Because the white woman was a serial killer who has been on the FBI's most wanted list for killing children.

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Two black guys walk into a bar. The bartender says "what are you doing here" and the black guys say "to get a drink"....

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He did not have sufficient stability in his arm at that moment causing him to loosen his grip and drop his ice cream.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue; In Soviet Russia, POEM WRITES YOU!

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What did the businessman do to get a promotion? He traded oral sex for his male bosses kind heart...

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why aren't black people real? they are. just because they are less visible at night makes no difference.

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What's worse than having to watch your dad rape your mom? Having to watch your mom rape your dad.

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Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They finally get to Florida and they see a sign that says "Disneyworld: left" so they take the left and get hit by a semi and all die.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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