Jon walked into a bar. Ouch.

Why did the asain fail his tests? They weren't math tests...

Ask me if I want an orange. Do you want an orange? No.

What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

What do Australians and New Zealanders have against pods anyway?

a man walks into a bar. ouch. that must suck, but he should really look where he's going

Q: what's worse than getting the flu? A: getting cancer

Your Mom is so fat, that she went to the doctor's and they told her that she was overweight and needed to get a stomach staple in order to make her lose weight

Roses are red Violets are blue Last but not least, Bananas are yellow.

Why do Jews fast for Yom Kippur? It's part of their tradition.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken was booted into the air by a screaming Russian osselot.

Did you hear the one about the koala bear that fell out of the tree? Yeah it died.

how do you make a baby cry? put a nail through its foot

how many shit jokes do you need to make before you realize that random does not equal funny? An egg.

What's wet and pink? Bubblegum!

Hats better than a stick? A stone

How do you tickle a tree? you dont you are a schizo stop kicking leaves

What's the difference between a bowling ball and guacamole? The guacamole is delicious with chips, and the bowling ball is just a bowling ball.

How do you make a mime make noise? Throw a brick at his face

How did the chicken cross the road? Assuming the vehicles yielded to the chicken, it looked both directions before crossing then proceded across the street while staying between the crosswalk lines until it had reached the other side of the road.

An Asian girl is playing with a rubber band. She accidentally slings it into her eye, cries, and receives immediate attention from her mother.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, technically speaking, chickens lack the capability to cross said road because chances are that it was a highway because highways cover 64% of america's roads. This being said, the possibility of a chicken being able to cross is is highly improbable. So to answer the question.... BACON!!!

why did victor sell half of club getaway because he wants a partner why did david buy the half because victors dying

I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then I got stabbed.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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