Why was the road crossed by the chicken? Because as an animal, incapable of understanding human languages and consequently lacking in education, it was unable to understand the convention of not using the passive voice in English prose writing.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Barack Obama. Ok, come on in Mr. President!

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There are no stupid Questions just stupid people

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A man carrying a bucket of golf clubs walks into a bar with a blonde, a brunette, and an asian. His name was Tiger Woods.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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Q: How do you make Osama Bin Ladin happy? A: Take him out to a nice seafood dinner free of charge.

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What did Ben's Graandma get him for Christmas? Nothing, she died on Thanksgiving!

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why cant the porcupine marry the balloon? ...neither one can talk.. obviously.

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What is the defference between Obama and an American? Obama doesn't have a birth certificate.

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You're so fake, Barbara Millicent Roberts is jealous of you.

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What's funnier than 24? 9/11

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a duck wanted grapes. he didnt get any

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How many Santa Clauses does it take to change a light bulb? Santa Claus isn't real.

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What's a pirate's favorite video game? Pirates lived in a time before such technology existed

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what did the white guy say to the black guy at the homeless shelter? Hi.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Q: How did Helen Keller cross the street? A: She walked.

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Variants: :) I will always assist you in whatever you want. :( I want to kill you all by myself! Sense? Non? Fuck? Mind? Fission Mailed? Impossible Mission.

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XD Thats what I was expecting from you, you do not go down without a bit of struggle and a tussle huh?

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Some people devote their to talking in their head. Jesus christ.

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What about the cool kids down the block. Their friend just died with a serious health condition.

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Women.

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What's worse than getting raped? getting raped by a horse in car while listening to nickelback

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Why was the man arrested? He assaulted and raped an elderly woman at the local Walmart. He then proceeded to hijack the poor woman's Scooter and lead police on a 4 mile long car chase.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops