What do you call the birth of George Lucas? Terrible, abdominal pain for his mother.

Why did the paraplegic die in a fire? He couldn't get down the stairs.

What do you call a man who can't sing. Untalented and he should probably find a new profession

Why do bees fly? Because evolution made them

How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? It's dependent on many factors, like the size of the babies and the tub. It would be a horrific endeavor, and you should probably stop thinking about such things.

Why was the baby's face red? Because it was bloody.

A man had two kids who he loved very much but would always come home in a bad mood. On a Friday after returning home, he tells his wife, "I hate my life," then proceeds to take his anger out on her. If you were expecting for this to be a joke, then you clearly have some messed up humor. Abuse in the household isn't to be taken lightly.

A piece of paper got wet. I stuck it over the fireplace to dry off, but it lit on fire.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" After hearing this common expression, the horse looks up at the bartender. With this look, the bartender realizes that he has been speaking to I'll Have Another. Aware his faux pas, the bartender apologizes and pours him a free drink. The free drink does little for I'll Have Another's crushed dreams.

Whats big, grey, and cant climb trees? A carpark

A man walks into a bar. He's just entered into the Twilight Zone.

What is worse than stepping on Lego bare foot? Mass genocide.

What do you call two gays with small dicks? Trace and Jacob

Why was Jimmy so bad at jumping rope? His father's car ran over an IED back in 2009. Jimmy had lost his legs in a tragic explosion.

DON'T TOUCH MY DUCK, IT HAS A ONE DOLLAR BILL

Why did the chicken cross the road? Most likely for no discernible reason as chickens are animals with poor reasoning skills.

I'vegto a riddel for you;l Do siolve it. during the day... I look liek a snake By night?///////////////// What ams i? Rack your brains

what happens when you punt a baby in between 2 poles? you get 3 points

A women in the kitchen.

Person 1: So now that were friends on facebook, you wanna hang out? Person 2: No I'd rather not.

Whats white and can't climb trees? Yogurt.

Q: Whats 5+5 A:10

What do you call a blue horse with two legs and five eyes? A blue horse with two legs and five eyes.

how do you wake up lady gaga? you throw her on the ground.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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