Why does Santa live in the north pole? Because his spicy body fat keeps him warm.

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Q: How do you get a blonde out of a tree? A: Throw a moneky at her

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Why did the most interesting man in the world refuse to eat his buttered toast? It just so happens that the cook accidentally used stale bread, causing it to taste unsatisfactory.

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There are 3 Chinese guys migrating to the USA, Chu, Bu and Fu. . Chu added a 'ck' to? his name and became Chuck Bu did the same thing and became Buck. Fu got sent back to china

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Why did the Mexican sneak across the US border? There aren't many good jobs for him in Mexico, and with the cost of living in his small village, he will be able to provide for his entire family of seven on just minimum wage in California. He will miss his family terribly while he is away from them, but he believes it is worth it in the end. Once he saves enough, he will pay the coyotes to smuggle the rest of his family over so they can be together again. Hopefully none of them will die on the journey.

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Q: Billy has 47 pieces of cake, he eats 38. What does he have left? A: Diabetes

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What did the student say to the teacher, after being assigned homework? This isn't my best subject, can I stay after class for tutoring?

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What's green and can read your mind? Nothing. Some people thinks the answer is a plant but don't listen to them because they are wrong.

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I don't have a girlfriend but I do know a girl who would get really mad if she heard me say that.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Your mom is so ugly she often finds it difficult attracting members of the other sex.

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Why wasn't the elephant allowed to the pajama party? Because he didnt have any pajamas.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, suck my tip and call me Regi.

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What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue I've just bought a chainsaw, and I will now decapitate you.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Well, it all depends on the size of the bathtub.

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What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my Tractor?"

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Knock Knock Jehovah's witnesses!

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How do you starve a black man? Take away his current food stocks, and means of income.

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Why did the black guy not like oreos? because he is a very health concious person and knowes that too much of a bad thing can make you fat.

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How many Jews can you fit into a Volkswagen? Probably around seven.

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A man entered ten puns into a pun contest, hoping that one of them would win. Unfortunately, he came in third place and was discouraged by his loss.

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What did the big Chimney say to the little Chimney? Nothing they are chimneys ....

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(PC) What did the homosexual man say when accidently sat on a stick? Ouch.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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