One man calls emergency: - Come immediately, my little son has swallowed a condom! After five minutes, the same man calls back: - It is OK, I found another one.

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Presents

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How do you get a blond out of tree? Shoot her in the head.

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Your mamas so old that she sat next to Jesus in kindergarten?

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Your momma's so fat: She regrets not making the most of her youth whilst she was still attractive.

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Where did Mary go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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What do you do when you see a black man with half a head? Stop laughing and reload

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I am thinking of a number between 1 and 100 what is it There are many numbers between 1 and 100 so it is highly unlikely that I will guess the right number

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Q. What is worse than a worm in your apple? A. Hitler

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Whats the difference between males and females? fe

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Roses are red Violets are blue Dandelions are weeds

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Enough with the gay jokes, they all go one direction.

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Q: Why were there four married men in one room without their pants on? A: because it was the mens bathroom.

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What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back at her

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What's worse; twelve babies in one trash can or one baby in twelve trash cans?

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why did the black guy kill the white guy. the white guy killed his family.

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Why can't Molly ride her bike? Because she has no arms or legs. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Molly.

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What do u call a joke with no punchline? A joke with a kickline

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roses are red violets are red the whole world is red i started the holocaust

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm a fish out of water. Help me I'm suffocating.

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Why did the girl make a sandwich for her boyfriend? Because she offered to make lunch in order to save money by not going to a restaurant.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs going down a mountain? A: As good as dead.

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KANE TUCKER HAS A CHODE THE SIZE OF HIS FINGER NAIL

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This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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