A Norwegian, a Swede and a Dane where having a bet on who could swim the furthest without getting wet on their hair. The Swede could have done better... The Dane did surprisingly well. The Norwegian, being bald, was disqualified. Moral: I still have some hair left!

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put my cock in your mouth. Submitted by Arsha K.

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How do you confuse a blond? Nordic mytholigi. That is, if shes american

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What is black and blue and red all over? My wife.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? A Holocaust in your apple.

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Why did the blonde girl drink lots of water? Because the fat comments got to her and she changed her diet to nothing but water

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Cyrus: Can you dig it?! Phil: I can feel it calling in the air tonite……..oh lord

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how could you not hav not died of dehyderation?

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? I don't hammer the watermon

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A. Why did the boy cross the road? B. Why? A. I don't know! That's why I'm asking you.

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"Knock knock" Come in!

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Why did the blonde arrest the man? Because he brutally murdered his wife and children.

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Teacher: What is 1+1? Student: 2 Teacher: Next time raise your hand before answering a question.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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The other day I went into the bathroom to take a poo, It was Glorious I flushed the toilet and everything.

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You walk into a plane full of Arabs talking about how much they hate America. You arrive at your destination enlightened about the problems in American society.

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Why can't monkeys and kuala bears get along? Because they are two entirely different species that cannot communicate with each other...

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Where did Susie go during the bombings? Susie was wandering around the streets as she felt like she didn't know where she was any more. Everything was burnt to ashes. She came across a man who she has never met. He tells her to follow him. She did.Later, Susie, the mysterious man and a few other people with him were in a private meeting room. The mysterious man tells Susie that he was a Frenchman and he was with the resistance. A few minutes later, the bombs were dropping everywhere. The meeting room was destroyed and Susie, the Frenchman and his men were under attack. The French resistance were about to fight, but retreated - for they were French. Susie was left, lying there as she saw a bomb in the sky about to land on her. She tried to get up and run, but the bomb was too fast. It got her. So yeah. Susie went everywhere, like you lot said.

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A black man is driving down the road in a van, and pulls up to a little a girl and says excuse me Miss. The girl replies Ok Ok I will get the car just dont hurt me The black guy says I dont want you to get in my van im taking your mom on a date.

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What did the boy say to the elders at the senior center? Dayum, you're all ugly!

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Roses are blurred Violets too I have astigmatism I cant see shit

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Why are babies like shake weights? Cause If you shake them long enough, they both end up being inanimate objects.

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Y didnt the grandma go to christmas? She died on thanksgiving

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? -250.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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