Your father must be an alien because he's driving a UFO

Roses are red Violets are purple. I just realized that nothing rhymes with "Purple".

Why was the girl crying when she got home? She got raped and mugged on the walk home

What do a Siamese cat and a birch tree have in common? Both exist.

What's better than rape? Consensual sex.

What do you call a person with no legs and an eyepatch? Names.

An atheist dies and so will we all, eventually.

Why did the cow cross the road? -Because it lives in India and is allowed to.

What do you call a man with a seagull on his head? Whatever his name happens to be.

I make it rain on them hoes, By which I mean I masterbate from my third story patio

Why are tests such a pain in the ass? Because your vomiting shit you'd learned the night before.

Why did the black man get arrested? He didn't pay child support for his 12 bastard children

why is the earth mad at the moon? cause the moon mooned the earth

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? I don't eat pizza

What would an ice hockey player do if the ice melted? Walk off, as the ice is only 3/4 of an inch thick.

Q: How do you make a baby cry? A: Throw a brick at it.

why did the little girl eat grapes? because she felt like it.

How did Billy tip the cow? He didn't, cows are animals and that would be wrong.

Why did the man laugh as he sat in the electric chair? He was being tickled by the guard.

"Whats that boy? Timmy fell down the well??" Bout time

Your mom is so ugly she often finds it difficult attracting members of the other sex.

Why did the blond fail her math test? Because she got all the questions wrong.

Why did the chicken cross the road? An obsession with what motivates a chicken.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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