roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

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Two cannibals are eating a clown one turns to the other and asks "does this taste funny to you?" The other cannibal says " yeah because the clown has been dead for weeks."

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Oh, go away

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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whats brown and has wings? a stick, i lied about the wings bit

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Everyone text/call Mrs. Butt Hemingworth for a free pint of her delicious marmalade! Serious inquirers only. 832 704 1331

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Why did the chicken cross the mobius strip? TO GET TO THE SAME SIDE!!!BAZZINGA!!!

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why did the man break his arm? he didn't, someone else broke it for him

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzy, she has no arms

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How do you confuse a terrorist? Speak another language other than Arabic

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what do you make if you get a cow, then kill it. ...Steak

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I just sharpened this hatchet Don't make me use it!

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A jew, a mexican, a priest, a polock, a rabbi, a black guy, a white guy, an alien, a rooster, a duck, a horse, a chicken, a carrot, a chinaman, a plumber, a blond, and a christian are all examples of descriptive nouns.

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your mommas so fat she jumped for joy and got stuck

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Why is Obama Care a lie? Cuz he doesn't care!

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In Soviet Russia, it is usually cold throughout the year, as it is located in a colder region of the planet.

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What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed Awwww sheeeeeeet!

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Why did the girl talk to her computer? Because she was Skyping with some faraway friends. Why were her friends far away? She was sent to the moon. Why was she sent to the moon? Because she tried to create eternal night.

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What's the difference between a duck? They are mostly the same, only one leg is shorter.

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What is the best part about being a rapist? The orgasms.

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A white man walked into a bar, and an indian walked into a totem pole...

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How do you make a hormone? Modify bacteria using recombinant DNA technology.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing, because they weren't made. Cupcakes were made instead. Sorry, Muffins.

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Q: How did the man walk across the road? A: With his own 2 feet!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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