Fact: Nine out of ten Americans believe that out of ten people one will always disagree with the other nine.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a grape? They're both purple. Except for the elephant.

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I FEEL LIKE I'M RIDING ON A CLOUD actually it's physically impossible to ride on clouds because they are sparsely situated ice particles.

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Excuses are like assholes: Gay men like to have sex with them.

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what do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you? run

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How do you circumcise a cat? Shoot an orphan in the leg with a rail gun.

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A black guy, a white guy, and a Canadian walk into a bar what do they all have in common. They are all involved in my Joke.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Dandelions are weeds

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Why didn't the politically-correct lawyer laugh at his black neighbour's jokes? He had an incapacitating malady of oralfacialoaralysis rendering him unable to laugh or smile

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What do you call a group of Mexicans jumping over a fence? I heat of runners trying out for the Mexican Olympic hurdle team.

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What did one muffin in an oven say to another muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects thus incapable of sppech.

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A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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Yo momma, she so fat, she needs to buy extra-large clothes.

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How many blondes can you fit in a car? About 5 if you lift the arm rest.

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Why did the woman cross the road? Better yet, why is she out of the kitchen

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what did Shivank say to Ricky? "you suck dick" HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH

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A blind man who spoke English and a deaf man who used sign language went to a bar together. Although they didn't communicate they had a wonderful time.

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What do you do when you see a black man with half a head? Stop laughing and reload

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how man

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What do you call a fat guy running on the street? Nothing because you should respect his effort trying to improve his health.

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Q: whats the difference between a t.v and a dead baby? A: i don't have a t.v in my garage

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What's white and can't climb a tree? A Refrigerator

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Why did the girl make a sandwich for her boyfriend? Because she offered to make lunch in order to save money by not going to a restaurant.

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You're so sweet I have diabetes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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