How did the fat guy survive the air crash? He was he was astronomically and improbably lucky.

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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My favorite color is Ham. And I can count to Potato.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Some wild chickens have regular seasonal migration patterns that might require them to cross a road while traveling south. Wild chicken movements include those made in response to changes in food availability, habitat or weather.

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A man starts acting weird in a resturant, the waiter says "whats the problem sir?" The man says "I'm choking and I just died."

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What do you call a successful black man who owns millions? Either a criminal or a fictional character.

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Why is my brother so bad at making anti jokes cuz HE HAS a sense of humor

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Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops. Would you be interested in learning more about our order? We make good use of people such as you. With all due respect, I would not exactly lend my sister to anybody that brags about engaging into intercourse with his own sister.

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Whats alive and drowning? your new born baby you just threw in the river

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What do u call 30000 Mexicans rolling Dow a hill. Hahaha your mom

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Why was Nathan upset Because his sister died from an undiagnosed case of tuberculosis

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Whats orange at the bottom of the swimming pool? A baby without floaties.

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How did 3 fat women fit under 1 small umbrella and not get wet? It wasn't raining!

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Q: What does a bunny and a plum have in common? A: They're both purple except the bunny.

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what happens when a migit and a horse have sex..... probably nothing

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What's the difference between a trash can full of dead babies and a Porsche? I don't have a Porsche in my garage.

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How did the mexican cross the border? He went through border patroll, and then later became a legal citizen of North America

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why did the monkey fall? he got hit by a train

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It's bright in here *puts on? sunglasses* Ahhh, that's better...

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Justin Bieber's voice sounds like Michael J. Fox playing a theramin.

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Q: What's green and has four wheels? A: A green car.

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whats worse than unloading a truck of dead babies with pitch forks? Finding one alive

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FUCK YOU

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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